Downstairs I picked the post up off the mat – checking there was no missive for me – and then fiddled about with the breakfast things before making myself a strong coffee. For someone who was so keen to come clean, I was certainly dragging my heels. I glanced up at the clock to work out the time difference. It would be after lunch for Jonathan and the last thing he probably needed was an interruption from me. Perhaps I should leave it until later, when I could be certain that he wouldn’t be at work? No, I couldn’t. I would end up tying myself in knots all through my visit to Wynthorpe Hall and I didn’t want anything to mar that.

I might have still been feeling rather sceptical about what Christmas and all its associated traditions and rituals really meant to me, but now, thanks to the Wish List and the school and the snowy scene beyond the window, I could sense that little spark was starting to consistently burn a tiny bit brighter. Had I not made such a mess of a few things it might well have been roaring away, but what I had so far was better than nothing and a darn sight more than I would have had had I decided not to come.

‘Jonathan?’

‘Hattie, is that you? Is everything all right?’

‘Yes,’ I said, swallowing down the lie. ‘Yes, I just wanted to talk. I’ve missed you this week and I have something . . .’

‘Look, my darling, I’m sorry to cut you off, but I’m just about to go into a meeting. Can I call you back?’

‘Of course.’

‘Are you sure everything’s all right?’

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘sorry. I shouldn’t have rung now.’

‘It’s fine.’ He said. ‘I’ll ring you back in a bit, on the cottage phone, yes?’

‘Yes,’ I said again, ‘that would be great.’

I had known it would be awkward for him to talk during the day and I hoped I hadn’t got him into trouble. Taking personal calls was most likely frowned upon, but I just couldn’t have put it off any longer.

By the time he called me back the single knot I’d tied myself into had turned into an entire tangle. Thankfully there was still no sign of Dolly and no sound of creaking floorboards overhead so I guessed she must have fallen back to sleep. I was rather pleased she was retiring before my move. A lady of her age deserved to sleep in every now and again.

I snatched up the phone before it had finished its first ring.

‘Jonathan?’

‘Yes, it’s me. I’m sorry about before.’