He shrugged. “I guess every father feels that same pressure and responsibility.”

And panic.

“But I worked, too, Seb. It was our responsibility, not yours alone.”

“Not really. I know how much you wanted to stay home with Holly. You have a clear vision of what family life should look like, and I wanted you to have the life you dreamed of having and deserved.”

And he’d felt he was the one who had to provide it, which explained why he felt he’d let her down.

She felt something cool on her hair and on her cheek and realized it was snowing. It was actually snowing, in this pretty Oxfordshire village with its sandy-colored stone and twinkling lights and church bells pealing in the background.

It should have felt like a perfect moment, but instead it felt like the scariest moment of her life.

“What about the life you deserved, Seb? What about your own happiness? Your vision of family life?” She’d never even asked him how he saw it. She’d replicated her own experience. Done what her mother had done and never questioned it.

He shrugged. “I didn’t really have a vision. You knew more about it than I did. I guess I saw you as the expert and was happy to follow your lead.”

Christy thought about the life she’d created for them. Expert? Sometimes it felt exhausting. The endless lists, the constant striving to stay on top of the jobs. Every time she tidied away toys so that the cottage looked half-decent, she felt as if she was disappointing her daughter, and every time the house was less than immaculate, she could hear her mother’s voice in her head. “But what about your vision for our family? You must have had some ideas of your own.”

It embarrassed her that she was only asking this question now, but he didn’t seem to think it was strange.

“Not really. I didn’t have anyone at home when I was young. My mother was gone, and my father was out working. The apartment felt like somewhere we ate and slept, but not a home. There was nothing cozy or warm about it. There was no routine. We never sat down for a meal at the table.” He smiled at her. “No candles or conversation. It was fast food, eaten on our laps in front of the TV. I didn’t want that for Holly. Your vision seemed pretty good to me. But I hadn’t anticipated how having a family sucks up money.”

She reached out and touched his arm. “And I was the one who wanted to move to the country. I feel terrible about that. Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way? Why did you say yes to moving and buying the cottage?”

“Because it was your dream,” he said softly. “And I badly wanted to make your dream come true.”

“But not at the expense of yours.” She forced herself to ask the question that had been burning inside her. “If you could turn the clock back, would you do things differently? Would you choose not to dance with me? Go home with me? Make a life with me? Be a father to our daughter? Do you regret it, Seb?”