“My life is so far from perfect.”

“Well, good,” Alix said with a tentative smile, “because if it was, I’d have to poke you in the eye.”

It was a relief, such a relief, to have it all out in the open.

“I thought, maybe, you wouldn’t forgive me for being selfish.”

“I thought you wouldn’t forgive me for those things I said.” Alix tugged off her hat, and her hair slid dark and shiny over her shoulders. “I thought... I really thought that maybe you didn’t need me anymore.”

Christy’s chest felt tight. She was used to Alix hiding vulnerability. “I’ll always need you. No matter what you may have thought, what you think now, I’ll always need you. Marrying Seb, having Holly—if I have ten kids—I’m always going to need you.”

“Just so we’re clear, I’m not taking ten kids to Lapland, no matter how strong our friendship.”

“But we’ve never talked about that, have we?”

“Taking ten kids to Lapland?”

“No, our friendship. We talked about everything when we were growing up, but we never talked about the possibility that things might change. I never thought about it.”

“I didn’t think about it, either.” Alix shrugged. “Our friendship wasn’t something we ever had to think about. It just...was. And then you met Seb. I was used to being the most important person in your life, and suddenly I wasn’t anymore. I wasn’t going to be the first person you messaged when you had good news or the person you called when you were upset. That day was a new beginning for you, but it felt like an ending to me. And it came as a shock. I never expected to feel that way.”

Christy felt a pressure in her chest again. “I had no idea you felt that way. To me, you’re family. You always will be. I assumed you knew that.” But how could she not have seen it from Alix’s point of view? “I was naive. I assumed we’d carry on as we always had. That our friendship would fit round life, as it always had.”

“I cried for a month after you got married, and then I pulled myself together and told myself it would be fine and nothing would change.”

“You cried?”

“It had been the two of us for so long, and learning to share you wasn’t easy. Do you know how many messages I deleted before sending? There were so many things I wanted to share with you, ask you, but I didn’t want to intrude.” She pulled a face. “And then that night when you called me, I knew something was wrong, and the fact that you didn’t share it...well, it hurt me. And I was scared for you. Not knowing the details was worse, of course, because I filled in the blanks with my own guesses, and they were way off the mark. You’re right, I thought it was about Seb, and I was wrong to think that.”

“Perhaps I should have told you he lost his job, but he was feeling insecure, and I was nervous that you would judge him.” She could see now how she’d been equally to blame for the tension between her and Alix.