“I miss them. I haven’t let myself think about them like this in so long, but…I miss them.” He trailed off, staring out into the distance. But no sooner had he withdrawn than he brought himself back, clearing his throat as if to clear the air of his very self. “Sorry. You don’t want to hear this.”

“I don’t mind at all. In fact, it’s pretty nice.”

“Cookies and sad stories. What next? Champagne and a dentist appointment?” He chuckled, but the light didn’t quite meet his eyes. Kate wanted nothing more than to sit here and talk to him about this forever. She wanted to know everything about him. What was his favorite shade of blue? What had his life been like after boarding school? What did he dream about?

For now, the questions would have to wait. As much as she wanted to keep talking, he needed something else. He needed a distraction. He still needed to fall in love with Christmas.

“Well.” She smiled, her fingers brushing the top of his hand reassuringly. “The tree still isn’t decorated.”

New memories would never replace a lifetime of horrible ones, but Kate could at least give him one special night.

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

I can’t believe I told her. I can’t believe I told her.

For the entire thirteen-step journey from the kitchen into the Christmas tree-dominated living room, Clark could only repeat those words. Then the thought mutated. I can’t believe I’m happy I told her. I can’t believe I’m relieved I told her. I can’t believe I trusted her. And still trust her.

Clark couldn’t remember the last time he’d thought about his parents for any stretch of time, much less talked about them. He treated his memory of them like a precious, finite resource. The more he shared them, the less he had for himself. If he talked about them too much, he feared, he’d lose them forever. He wanted to protect the pieces of them he could.

But talking about them with Kate liberated him. Secrets he’d been jealously hiding all his life came to the surface, excavating the pieces of his heart he’d buried long ago.