Kate snorted. The more she encountered the memories she made today, the more childish she saw herself. She really thought she could protect a man’s soul by putting up some Christmas lights and serving some turkey? What a dumb, naive girl she was.

“I was almost right. It almost worked. But I messed it up. He thought I was just using him. And it undid everything.”

“Did you explain yourself?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Miss Carolyn, in her capacity as Director of Festival Operations, always asked three questions in any dispute. What happened? Did you explain yourself? Did you apologize? For reasons unknown to her, the third question went unasked as they crept closer and closer to Kate’s apartment. She readjusted her hands on the steering wheel. From the corner of her eye, Kate peeked long enough to see her press her lips into a thin line.

“I really think you should come to town and be with all of us. You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”

“Why? Because I’m a pathetic mess?” Kate bit questions with the irrational force of a rabid dog. Miss Carolyn scooped her out of the freezing forest and brought her home. She wasn’t her enemy. But Kate wanted to push her away; she wanted to forget her own foolish attempts to change her small slice of the world.

“No, because no one should be alone on Christmas Eve,” Miss Carolyn echoed Kate’s own words back to her just in time for Kate to say something she’d never before said. Not in her entire life.

“I want to be alone.”

“A little company and a little cheer will do you good.”

“It didn’t do Clark any good.”

“Then he’s not worth your time.”

Not worth her time? What happened to the find the good in everyone lessons their A Christmas Carol festival taught throngs of people every year? If Scrooge was meant to be redeemable, so too was Clark.

And if Clark couldn’t be saved… If Kate failed… It meant everything she believed was a lie. Christmas. Love. Salvation. The fragments of her deeply held convictions crunched into dust beneath the weight of her newfound cynicism.

“We tell people things that aren’t true, Miss Carolyn. We tell them this holiday has magical powers that can save anyone, but that’s a lie. I don’t want to go into town, okay? I don’t want any cheer or any uplifting stories. I don’t want to hear any more garbage about how people can change through the power of love. I want to go home and I want to sleep until January second.”

“This isn’t like you,” Miss Carolyn said, her eyes as sad as Kate ever saw them. She ignored their sting and repaid their compassion with a stab of her own.

“We all have to grow up. Thanks for the ride.”