“No!” she said, her cheeks flushed. “Not of the same things he was. I’m afraid of Gaelung falling to the constructs. I’m afraid of more islands sinking. I’m afraid that even with all the vast power of the Emperor, I won’t be able to do anything to help. And I’m afraid that if I lose my position, there will be even less I can do. If I don’t do this, who will? You?”

Words dried up in my mouth. Endless Sea, I wasn’t meant for this! I’d rarely worried about ethics or morality when I’d been a smuggler. With Emahla gone, so went my singular focus. Now there were too many things to care about. First Mephi, then the Shardless Few, then my parents again, and now Lin. Every step I took seemed to be the wrong one, yet I couldn’t seem to stop. I couldn’t be sure I wasn’t just making things worse. I’d arrived at Imperial hoping to bring an end to the Empire. Had Lin already done that? At least, in the form it had once known? Then what was I doing except undermining her?

I shouldn’t be fighting with her, not on the eve of a battle and not when my position felt so precarious. I’d found a moment before we’d docked to sneak into her rooms. The flask of Ragan’s memories, the one I’d hidden between her mattress and the wall, was gone. She’d not said anything about it. I could only hope that one of her maidservants had found it and, not knowing what it was, had dumped it out and returned the flask to the ship’s mess.

The wagon rolled to a stop.

I fled as soon as the door was opened, barely listening as Lin explained to Urame that Nisong had not wanted to bargain, and that she had a plan that would buy us time. Mephi sidled up next to me, his face reflecting my own worry. He always hated to see me upset. “In a moment,” I told him, knowing he wanted me to explain.

Urame’s servants showed us to the guest rooms with the promise of a formal meal. I shut my door behind me as soon as I could and sat on the edge of the bed. What would Emahla say if she could see me now? If we were facing this together? I closed my eyes and tried to imagine her face.