“Small-time?” He hadn’t let go, and I had to push the words past the tightness in my chest. He didn’t want anything to do with me. I had to remember that. “I thought you were the greatest smuggler the Empire has ever seen. From what I heard, at least, that’s what you told several of my father’s soldiers as you left them in your wake.”

He laughed at the tartness in my tone, his eyes met mine and then it seemed he couldn’t quite catch his breath either. “Oh, Endless Sea take me,” he said softly. “I am an idiot. And a liar.”

His hands found my waist again, and he pulled me deliberately into him. All the lonely, wanting nerves in my body relaxed, soaking in his warmth, the feel of his breath tickling my scalp. I couldn’t move, afraid to disturb this moment.

“Lin,” he said into my scalp. “I don’t really know who you are. There are so many secrets about you, so many locked rooms whose doors don’t seem to have keys.”

My heartbeat quickened. Some secrets could be told. Some had to be buried so deep I couldn’t even admit them to myself. “I have told you more than I’ve told anyone.”

He let that sit for a moment before saying, “I am sorry.”

“You said that already,” I said into his shirt.

He let out a warm breath. “So I did.”

We stood there for a while in that embrace, the ship rolling around us. It was easier to stay on my feet. This close to him, I felt the rhythm and sway of his movements, anticipating each ocean swell as it passed.

He pressed his lips to my hairline, and then my forehead.

And though it hurt me to do so, I pulled away. “You said it was a mistake. As you’ve so often reminded me, I am the Emperor. I’m not a smuggler’s plaything.”

Jovis’s lips curved into a rueful sort of smirk. “You have such an odd view of me. You think I had… playthings? Eminence, I had one wife, and when she died, I didn’t know it, and—” He stopped. He reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. It was such a simple gesture, but done with such care that I wanted to cry. “Let me try again. I’m realizing that I cannot plan for all contingencies. And I don’t know where anything will lead.”

A part of me dared to hope, while the rest fled headlong into despair. Because the Jovis I’d kissed in the Ioph Carn den had been right. This couldn’t lead to anything. I’d be breaking my own heart.

“How long does one of these storms last?”