I felt sick to the deepest pit of my stomach. Cleromancy involved the use of lots, or sortes, which spirits arranged into pictures or pushed in a particular direction. All kinds of sortes were used: needles, dice, keys. A group called the osteomancers favored bones, but very old skeletons were usually handled out of respect for the dead. If Kraz had stolen the bones of children to practice cleromancy, I was glad I’d killed him.

“I am thankful that he is dead,” Warden said. “He was a terrible blight on this world.”

I didn’t answer.

“You feel guilty,” he stated.

“Afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“What I can do. I keep—” I shook my head, exhausted. “I keep killing. I don’t want to be a weapon.”

“Your gift is volatile, but it keeps you alive. It acts as your shield.”

“It’s not a shield. It’s like a gun. I live on a hair trigger.” I looked at the patterns on the carpet. “I hurt people. That’s my gift.”

“Not deliberately. You did not always know what you could do.”

I let out a hollow laugh. “Oh, I knew I could do it. I didn’t know how, but I knew who was making people bleed. I knew who was giving people headaches. Whenever people sneered at me—whenever they brought up the Molly Riots—they’d just hurt. All because I’d given them a mental push. I liked it, in a way,” I said. “Even when I was ten, I liked it. I liked getting my own back. It was my little secret.” He kept his eyes on me. “I’m not like sensors or mediums. I don’t just use spirits for companionship or self-defense. I am one of them. Get it? I can die when I want, become a spirit when I want. It makes people afraid of me. It makes me afraid of them.”

“You are different from them, yes. But that does not mean you should be afraid.”

“Yes, it does. My spirit is dangerous.”

“You are not afraid of danger, Paige. I think you thrive on it. You agreed to work for Jaxon Hall, knowing that it would significantly reduce your lifespan. Knowing the risk of detection.”

“I needed the money.”

“Your father works for Scion. You did not need money. I doubt you have ever touched it. Danger brings you closer to the æther,” he said. “That is why you take every opportunity to experience it.”

“It wasn’t that. I’m not some sort of adrenaline junkie. I wanted to be with other voyants.” Fresh anger seeped into my voice. “I didn’t want to live like a brainwashed Scion schoolgirl. I wanted to be part of something. I wanted to matter. Can’t you understand that?”

“Those were not the only reasons. You thought about one person in particular.”

“Don’t.” My lips shook.