‘She gives me this superior look at the same time as she’s crapping on the floor,’ said Azra. ‘She could at least look guilty.’

‘She doesn’t mean to crap there. She just misjudges the litter tray.’

‘By about a mile.’

‘She usually gets there in time.’ I scooped it up. ‘I think she’s going blind.’

‘It’s her attitude I hate.’

‘She’s getting old, like us.’

‘Yeah, but we’re not shitting on the carpet.’

Azra gave a martyred sigh. Once we would have been able to laugh, but those days seemed to have gone.

Then there was the episode with the antlers. By mid-April, rubbish was piling up in the street. Stuck in their homes, people were busy decluttering and flinging their old stuff out. One day I spotted a pair of antlers lying on an old mattress—stag’s antlers, mounted on a plinth, an unlikely sight in Tottenham. I carried them back to the flat and dumped them on my pile of belongings.

Azra was out for her run. When she returned home she went into the bedroom. I heard a crash, and a scream.

‘What the fuck is this?’ Azra emerged, carrying the antlers.

‘Aren’t they amazing?’

‘I nearly broke my fucking leg.’

‘I thought we could use them as a hat-stand. When we get a house.’

Holding them at arm’s length, as if they were contaminated, she lowered the antlers onto the floor. She glared at them, wiping her hands on her legs.

‘They’re repulsive,’ she said. ‘Some fat twat’s killed an animal for fun.’ She looked at me. ‘I can’t believe you’d be so insensitive, Pru. I’m not only a vegetarian, I’m a pacifist. I don’t want this disgusting object in my flat.’

‘I’m sorry. I’ll put it into the storage place with my other stuff.’

‘Don’t be daft. It’s closed. Everything’s closed—haven’t you noticed?’

Suddenly she burst into tears. I stared at her.

‘I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.’ She grabbed me and crushed me against her breasts. ‘I’m just so frightened,’ she muttered into my hair. ‘Come into the shower with me. I need to have an orgasm.’

She led me into the bathroom, her hand gripping mine so tightly it hurt. We pulled off our clothes and a moment later we were squashed together in the shower cubicle. Water poured on us as she pressed me against the wall, grabbed my hand and pushed it between her legs. For a moment I resisted, but then she was rubbing me with her expert fingers and soon I was weakened by waves of such pleasure that my legs buckled and she had to hold me up. The water was scalding but neither of us could reach the controls and then I brought her to orgasm and she shuddered against me, moaning.