Bisma and Kaitlyn and Riley and Logan and Leslie and Zoe have started a Kickstarter campaign. A campaign to fund my summer at Angles.

“They told me they were going to do it,” she says. “I didn’t say no. The goal is eight thousand dollars. And Addie? It’s already a third of the way there.”

Carly is still smiling so wide. And … I don’t know what to say. It’s amazing and thoughtful and kind, of course, but a hollow sense of wrongness has opened up inside me. So many people needing so many things in this world, and we’re asking for money for this? It’s why I never wanted to do it in the beginning. I want to earn my way.

“Well?” Carly says, maybe sensing my ambivalence. “What do you think?”

“They are the best, those kids,” I say truthfully. “I just … I don’t know.”

Carly nods. “I understand. Think about it. Look at the site.”

Before I leave, she gives me the biggest hug, one that says she’s proud of me no matter what I decide and where I end up.

Later, sitting outside in the roofless gazebo where we first started hatching the plan for Dirty Little Secret, I take out my phone and force myself to look at the site, even though it gives me that strange, hollow feeling in my stomach. The feeling worsens when I see how much money is in there. So many donors! From the looks of it, the donations are all small, five and ten dollars, mostly.

Then I start reading the comments, and the feeling in my stomach begins to shift.

Heard about you while waiting in line for coffee, you’re an inspiration … you can have my coffee money today.

I’m also a fat dancer. Saw your IG feed. You can MOVE. Good luck in Milan!

I got suspension for wearing an off the shoulder shirt & the soccer team practices with no shirt at all. Thx for calling this kind of thing out.

The comments go on and on.

“Holy crap,” I say.

This is my future I’m looking at. All of our futures. This is the kind of world we live in, where sometimes magical things happen and good wins because evil is bad, and I am pretty sure I am going to fall over and die in just a second here, reading all these wonderful things. Knowing that there are people out there who understand, who share what they have because that’s what communities do—communities of artists, of dancers, of people who get it and want to give back.