‘Our lead is top historian Ben Croton on Islam’s violent origins and how we’ve got to either win the clash of civilizations or start buying prayer mats. Then Booker-winning novelist Robin Gibbs saying something clever about how the Muslims in his neighbourhood never talk to anyone else. Baroness Ahmad says it’s time to ban the burqa; an economist says lots of jihadis are on benefits; and the Lord Chief Justice says half the inner city is run on Sharia law.’

Max carefully took the pencil from his mouth and made another suggestion. ‘Does it need a piece condemning Islamophobia?’

The chief said with derision, ‘Do you think we’re going to headline the spread “Down with Islam”?’

Max remembered him blurting ‘Yes, sir’ to the Editor the night before, and openly smirked at him. ‘No, but the Impartial’s already reported us to the Met for incitement to religious hatred.’

‘Who gives a fuck about the Impartial? They’ve got fewer readers than our Gardening section.’

‘No one gives a fuck about the Impartial. But there are vigilante kids on the streets with knives – if a Muslim gets stabbed, we’re going to look pretty bad if we haven’t covered ourselves.’

‘What do you know about how we’ll look? Last time I checked all you were in charge of was one of my pods.’

The Editor generally liked it when his subordinates fought; it sharpened their minds. But there was no time for this now. He ruled, ‘Geraldine, find a left-wing civil-liberties campaigner, preferably white, to say that freedom of religion and of conscience is one of the founding tenets of this country. And that Britain does not single people out on the basis of their creed – this isn’t Germany, or Russia. Also, put in a news piece reporting the Impartial’s potentially libellous accusation.

‘Otherwise, Max is right: if a Muslim is killed, we lose control of this story. On one side there would be the Impartial, the Conscientious and the rest of the liberal media saying that we stirred this up; and on the other us, the Respectable and the Stentorian saying we didn’t. Then we are not directing the story; we are in the story – the last thing we want. And what are our pages if not a forum for robust debate? The Beast has nothing to fear from the truth.’