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Contents (23)
  1. Acknowledgements
  2. Chapter One: 1978
  3. Chapter Two: Now
  4. Chapter Three: 1983
  5. Chapter Four: Now
  6. Chapter Five: Now
  7. Chapter Six: 1986
  8. Chapter Seven: Now
  9. Chapter Eight: 1995
  10. Chapter Nine: Now
  11. Chapter Ten: 1996
  12. Chapter Eleven: Now
  13. Chapter Twelve: 2006
  14. Chapter Thirteen: Now
  15. Chapter Fourteen: 2010
  16. Chapter Fifteen : Now
  17. Chapter Sixteen: Now
  18. Chapter Seventeen: 2006 and earlier
  19. Chapter Eighteen: Now
  20. Chapter Nineteen: Now, August
  21. Chapter Twenty: Now
  22. Chapter Twenty-one: Midwinter Day
  23. Chapter One (Now)

“Dad, I just – I was only… ”

The fury erupted. The door flew open under his hands. He stared into the hut. Two women stared back. One young and in her underwear, her jeans draped over her arm, skin like a golden pearl, the unexpected innocent beauty of young wild things everywhere. One much older, wearing plain white cotton knickers, hair tumbled about her face, white bra half-fastened, pale breasts exposed. A temple of female mysteries. The sight tugged hard and painfully at his loins. He stared, transfixed.

“Dad!” Alicia’s voice, coming from a woman’s mouth. “Dad, get out! We’re getting dressed!”

“Fuck.” Now he’d cursed in front of her, perfect. “Sorry.” He closed his eyes, then the door, turned away, stared madly at the ocean, trying to forget what he’d seen. He’d burst in on them, but he was the one who felt invaded. How could he possibly reclaim the high ground from here?

A fragment of time, and they were beside him on the veranda, Ava’s face calm and unreadable, Alicia’s angry and mutinous and streaked with make-up. Ava looked at the make-up and smiled.

“Wait a minute,” she said, and went inside. Alicia and Donald stared at each other.

“Here.” Ava poured something from a bottle onto a pad of cotton-wool and smoothed it over Alicia’s face. The make-up melted away under her gentle touch. Donald fought to stop his anger doing the same thing. It was such a tender gesture.

“Now,” said Ava to Alicia. “Why don’t you go home, and I’ll talk to your dad?” Alicia’s lip trembled. “It’ll be all right, you’ll see. Go on. Wash the salt out of your hair or it’ll be like straw tomorrow.”

“But… ”

“Remember, if it doesn’t work out, you can always join the Foreign Legion.”

This clearly meant something to Alicia; she smiled tremulously and picked up her bag.

“Bye, then.”

Donald drew breath beside her.

“Hang on,” said Ava. Her hand on his arm was an assault, an insult. “No, keep hanging on… bit longer… bit longer… just ’till she’s out of earshot… there.” She turned to him and smiled. “Okay, go.”

Letting his temper fly loose was a wicked pleasure.

“Do you have any bloody idea how dangerous this beach is to swim off?”

“Yes. Finn nearly drowned here when he was five.”

Her answer, like everything she did, threw him off balance.

“Then why the hell did you take my daughter in? I don’t care about you, I couldn’t care less if you fucking drown. But you’ve got no right to make decisions for Alicia.”

“I rescued him,” said Ava. “I know how to keep swimmers safe. I was watching her the whole time. Besides, she’s a brilliant swimmer. She could probably rescue me if she had to.”

“So the lifeguards we have all summer are just for fun, are they?”

“They’re looking out for people who think swimming is twenty lengths in the swimming-bath every three months.”

“People drown on this beach. They die. There was one last year.”