“Then don’t go.” His hands trembled as he stroked her hair. “Don’t go. Cash in your tickets and stay here.”

“I can’t.”

“Stay with me.” He took her hand and held it tight. “Please. We’ll find them both in the morning, wherever they are, and then we can decide what to do. You don’t have to live here on the beach, leave Finn to it and you can stay with me. No expectations, I swear, I’ll sleep on the sofa as long as you want. I’ll even let Finn come and visit. We can make it work. Please say yes.”

“Donald.” Ava’s eyes were bright with tears. “You’re lovely but you don’t understand. I don’t have a choice.”

“Why not? Are you afraid of your husband? He’ll never get near you, I swear. This may come as a shock to you but I’m a scary bastard when I have to be.”

“It’s nothing to do with Paul, he wouldn’t hurt a fly anyway.”

“Then what is it? Please, Ava, tell me so I can help you. I’ve trusted you. I’ve told you all my secrets. Why won’t you trust me with yours?”

“I’ve got to go,” she whispered. “It’s not the kind of journey you can choose.”

In the moment when she refused to catch his eye, he finally glimpsed the truth.

“No.” He squeezed her hand tight.

“Yes.”

“No. Ava, no.”

“There’s no point getting angry, it does no good. It’s not something you can make disappear by shouting.”

“I’m not having this. I won’t have this, do you hear? You’re not going to… ”

“No, you’re right, I’m not, because I’m beating the system, okay? I’m choosing my own time. My own time to leave.”

“No.” He was clutching her hand so tightly her fingers were crushed. He forced himself to let go. “This isn’t fair. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. You should have said something before.”

Her eyes blazed. “I did say something. I told you, I’m going travelling. The longest journey any of us ever make. George is building me a raft and I’ve got something to take and on midwinter day I’m setting off across the ocean, and I’m going to see it all. The volcanoes and the beaches and the oceans and the coral reefs and the ruined cities and the temples and the rainforests… ”

“Stop it. Please.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not true! You’re not going travelling at all. That was all a lie, all of it. Just some stupid story, the kind of story you’d tell a child. You’re going to… ”

“Oh, you think you want to know the truth?” She took her hand back and wrapped her arms tightly around herself. “Here it is. If I stay here, I’m going to drown, okay? That’s how it ends. I’ll lose a little bit more of myself every day – not me, though, not my brain, just – this.” She squeezed herself tighter. “I’ll lose control, but I’ll know about it, every single minute. It’s supposed to take years but it’s happening quite quickly for me. Paul always said I was too impatient for my own good.”