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Contents (23)
  1. Acknowledgements
  2. Chapter One: 1978
  3. Chapter Two: Now
  4. Chapter Three: 1983
  5. Chapter Four: Now
  6. Chapter Five: Now
  7. Chapter Six: 1986
  8. Chapter Seven: Now
  9. Chapter Eight: 1995
  10. Chapter Nine: Now
  11. Chapter Ten: 1996
  12. Chapter Eleven: Now
  13. Chapter Twelve: 2006
  14. Chapter Thirteen: Now
  15. Chapter Fourteen: 2010
  16. Chapter Fifteen : Now
  17. Chapter Sixteen: Now
  18. Chapter Seventeen: 2006 and earlier
  19. Chapter Eighteen: Now
  20. Chapter Nineteen: Now, August
  21. Chapter Twenty: Now
  22. Chapter Twenty-one: Midwinter Day
  23. Chapter One (Now)

“The rest of your life, hey?” He couldn’t quite read the smile that twitched across her face. “Do you really want to make it up to me?”

“You know I do.”

“Then tell me something, and tell me the truth. Why on earth does Alicia think you were a police officer?”

He felt his shoulders tense up. “I was a police officer.”

“No you weren’t.”

“You think coppers never beat people?”

“I never said that. I just said you weren’t one.”

“Look, do you want my badge number or something? Why would I make it up?”

“A few days after we got here,” said Ava, “we were buying bread in the shop and the woman behind the counter told us to be careful of you. She said you had your eye on us, and we should be careful because you’d been a policeman. And when we got outside Finn said to me, ‘No way he was a policeman. He was in organised crime, I guarantee it.’ He often does that, you see. Makes up pasts for people. So I laughed and asked him where your patch was and what sort of crime you were involved in, but he went quiet and wouldn’t say any more. And I realised what he was telling me was, he’d recognised you.”

“I swear I’d never even seen your brother until the day you both turned up in the car park.”

“It wouldn’t have been like that,” Ava said. “He wouldn’t have worked for you. He was just a bit lost for a while. But he met a lot of people, and he remembers everyone he meets. So that’s how I know.”

“Then he’s got me confused with someone else.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You said you’d do anything and now this is your penance. Stay put and sit in that chair and tell me the truth.”

In the shiver of spent adrenaline, he suddenly realised he had no more energy left to lie. And besides, what was the point? She’d already seen the worst of him. Nothing he said could lower him further in her eyes.

“Okay then. If you really want to know.” Was he really going to do this? Yes, apparently he was. “I was – I was in business.” She shook her head and began to stand up, staggering a little on cramped muscles. “No, please, I’m telling you. It wasn’t legal but it was just like any other business most of the time. I turned up and I did things and they gave me money for doing them. I had objectives and targets. I oversaw other people. I gave them advice. I sorted out problems. I had a career path and a line manager and a big boss who was in charge of everything. I imported goods and I sold services. I made sure everyone kept to the rules.”

“Whose rules?”

“Our rules, of course. Rules like, You pay us on time or we’ll be visiting your daughter’s school. You make these charges go away or these photos go to your wife. You let this man put it anywhere he wants or I burn your passport and put you out on the streets.”