“Give me your phone. I have to call her friends.”

“I haven’t got a phone.”

“Don’t be so bloody stupid. Give me it now.”

“I had a phone, but I threw it away. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth.”

His fear for Alicia came in waves, driving him uselessly back to the door to stare out at the encroaching sea.

“I’ll wade back.”

Ava slammed the door shut. “It’s spring tide. Do you want to drown?”

“I’ve got to find her. The dunes. I’ll walk back across the dunes.”

“In the dark? They go on for miles. You’ll get lost.”

“I have to try, she has to know I’m looking for her. She’s out in the dark without me.”

“Why? What happened? What did you do?”

Remembering was like being flayed. He wanted to run but he couldn’t. He was shut in here, just him and her and his guilt, and any minute now he’d have to tell her what he’d done.

“Who have you been in a fight with? Donald, just tell me, what did you do?”

His hands gripped her upper arms, feeling the flesh squeeze tight between his fingers. “It’s your fault. Your fault, do you hear me? All these weeks I’ve been thinking about you when I should have been looking out for her.” He shook her hard, then harder. His temper was completely off the chain now, revelling in the awful ecstasy of knowing that they were alone and he was stronger. Her teeth chattered together and he saw blood on her lip. “You told me to read her diary and I did it and now she’ll never forgive me and it’s your fucking fault!”

His hand, already bruised and aching, slapped her brutally across the face. He felt sick even before he heard the sound. This was the third human being he had hurt tonight. Where would it end? He wanted to die. He wanted her to hit him back, to leap at him and plunge a knife into his heart. He wanted to claw his own face off so he’d never have to see himself in the mirror again.

“I’m sorry,” he managed, from behind his hands. “I’m so sorry. That was unforgiveable.”

“So that’s who you really are,” said Ava thoughtfully. She licked blood from her bottom lip. “I’d been wondering.”

“It’s not your fault Alicia ran away. It’s mine. My fault. She’s right, I’m a monster. I’m not fit to be with anyone any more. I’m sorry, I can’t ever make this right but I’m sorry. I just – it’s not an excuse but I was just so fucking furious with myself for not seeing – no, please, Ava, please don’t be nice to me.”

Her fingers against his were so gentle he felt the tears come to his eyes. She turned his hands towards the light and examined them. His knuckles were battered and torn, the skin blue with bruises, and there was an ominous swelling around the fingers of his right hand. “These are a mess. Sit down.”