Contents ( 23)
- Acknowledgements
- Chapter One: 1978
- Chapter Two: Now
- Chapter Three: 1983
- Chapter Four: Now
- Chapter Five: Now
- Chapter Six: 1986
- Chapter Seven: Now
- Chapter Eight: 1995
- Chapter Nine: Now
- Chapter Ten: 1996
- Chapter Eleven: Now
- Chapter Twelve: 2006
- Chapter Thirteen: Now
- Chapter Fourteen: 2010
- Chapter Fifteen : Now
- Chapter Sixteen: Now
- Chapter Seventeen: 2006 and earlier
- Chapter Eighteen: Now
- Chapter Nineteen: Now, August
- Chapter Twenty: Now
- Chapter Twenty-one: Midwinter Day
- Chapter One (Now)
“My sheets are pink,” she said, and he laughed, which was what she’d been hoping for.
“It’s just an expression.” He checked his watch. “Right, my break’s up. We’d better get back to it.”
“And call the coastguard.”
“And call the coastguard. Do you know what number to call, by the way? Not that you’ll ever need it, but just in case.”
“Dad. It’s 999, same as all the others. They tell us in assembly every single year.”
He didn’t let her watch the news that night, but she knew what they would have said. Family, mother, father, two sons, one daughter – safe. Dog missing. Reminder of the dangers. Coastguard advice, check tide times, be careful – water comes in quicker than you think.
She saw the dog in her dreams for years afterwards, although in her dreams she was never afraid of the sea. It was the caves that haunted her. The black holes reaching into the heart of the cliffs, and the water rushing in after. The darkness and the waves rising.
So, on this terrible night, it was the caves she ran for.
The beach was still clear but it wouldn’t be long now. Ten minutes more and the ocean would swallow the land. The moon was a fat glob with a side sliced off. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going down to the caves with the spring tide coming in? From the dunes, a candle flickered in the window under a red glass shade. Perhaps she could go to the beach hut instead and sit and talk to them, drink tea and eat biscuits while her father drove around in the dark, calling all her friends in turn, until he finally realised that nothing mattered but her and he would forget everything that had happened that day.
No, she thought, with horrible clarity. That’s not what he’s going to do at all. He’s going to keep on at me, on and on and on until I finally give in, and then he’s going to find Mike and kill him. That’s what men like him do when they’re angry. They kill people.
She hadn’t given up the name. She’d managed to keep the secret. He didn’t know who to go after. Who to kill. She’d been too strong, her father hadn’t broken her. She’d won this round, but it had taken everything she had. She wasn’t used to winning. She couldn’t count on it happening again.
How had he hidden his true face from her so successfully? He’d told her he’d been a police officer and she’d believed it. ‘Just a job,’ he’d said tonight, as if something like that could ever have been just a job. She’d only beaten him because she’d caught him by surprise. When he found her again, he’d make her give him the name, and then he’d go after Mike. Her father would kill him but the blood would be on her hands too. It was hard to breathe through the weight in her chest. Only one way to stop her father now. Only one good thing left that she could do to make up for the damage she’d done.