I close my eyes for a brief moment. After all this time, he finally, finally gets what we’ve been saying all along. It’s not a victory. It’s sad and pathetically long overdue.

Chapter 65: Cade

I wish I could pick up the phone and call Nana to tell her the debate is canceled. This morning, before I left for school, she said, “It’s not too late. It could still happen.” Even though the protest was complete mayhem, at least it was the answer.

Under our desks, I reach for Logan’s hand and lace our fingers together. She slides her desk closer, pressing her leg against mine. Our contact helps ease the mixed emotions stirred up during the protest—the fights and the incredible performance of “Hallelujah.” From shouting, my throat is raw, matching my emotions. The combination makes it hard to swallow.

Mr. Bartley pushes one of the empty desks against the wall. It takes me a few seconds to realize that Daniel and Reg are missing. It never occurred to me to ask Daniel why he wasn’t going to be in class today. As for Reg, I heard he was suspended. How is it that no one knows why?

Secrets.

My mind keeps wandering. I’ve spent the past few days pretty much thinking only about Nana and Grandpa’s secrets and came to the conclusion that what they endured is not something I’ll ever fully comprehend. No matter how much I try to grasp their painful past, there’s slim to no chance I’ll ever know what it’s like to starve, to be a slave, to be beaten, to watch the people I love murdered. As much as I struggle to figure out what it all means for me, to come to terms with our Jewish identity, I don’t blame Nana. My entire life my grandparents showered me only with love. I don’t fault Nana for trying to protect us, for doing what she felt she needed to do in order to feel safe. I’ve thought about Grandpa and wonder how much he suffered by keeping his Jewish identity a secret.

On Sunday, no one in my family went to church. Instead, Nana baked, and Dad, Mom, and I walked down to the inn’s beach and talked. Dad told us that being Jewish doesn’t change the fact that we’re a family, that wherever this journey takes us, we’ll do it together. Mom cried a little. A few minutes later, she asked me, “If we’d known my parents’ history all along, would you have told us about the assignment right away?”