Contents ( 42)
- The Art of Breathing
- Part One: How We Became Who We Are
- Prologue: Or, Where the Kid Hears the Word of the Day
- 1. Where Tyson Learns to Breathe
- 2. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 3. Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out
- 4. Where Tyson Says Good-Bye
- 5. Where Tyson Gets the Mail
- Part Two: Coming Home
- 6. Where Tyson Comes Home
- 7. Where Tyson Gives a History Lesson
- 8. Where Tyson Attends the Most Awkward Party Ever
- 9. Where Tyson Plans Attends a Protest
- 10. Where Tyson Gets Arrested
- 11. Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him
- 12. Where Tyson Writes Bad Poetry and Gawks at Frat Boys
- 13. Where Tyson Decides to Man the Fuck Up
- 14. Where Tyson Asks Some Questions
- 15. Where Tyson Remembers Theresa Jean Paquinn
- 16. Where Tyson Learns the Benefit of Therapy
- 17. Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
- 18. Where Tyson Gets Screwed at His Own Birthday Party (And Not in a Good Way)
- Part Three: Just Breathe
- 19. Where Tyson Goes to Helena Handbasket’s Sex Dungeon
- 20. Where Tyson Beholds the Awesome Wonder That Is Paul Auster
- 21. Where Tyson Receives Advice from the Six Sages
- 22. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 23. Where Tyson Hears the Inevitable
- 24. Where Tyson Meets His Match
- 25. Where Tyson Says Hello, Where Tyson Says Good-bye
- 26. Where Tyson Touches upon the Inevitable
- 27. Where Tyson Faces the Music
- 28. Where Tyson Breathes
- 29. Tyson And Dominic
- 30. The Art Of Breathing
- Epilogue: Or, Bear’s Perspective, As It Were (Yeah, He’s Gonna Freak)
- Author’s Note
- Excerpt
- Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
- More from TJ Klune
- Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
- By TJ Klune
“Hold it for three seconds. One.”
Doesn’t he need me?
“Two.”
Why won’t he ask me to stay?
“Three. Good, Kid. In and hold. One.”
I want him to be happy.
“Two.”
Why can’t he be happy with just me?
“Three. And Out. Good. One.”
He sees me. He sees me like no one else can. Not even Bear.
“Two.”
And I see him. I see him so clearly.
“Three. Now. Tell me what happened.”
And it floods out. “I saw Stacey and Dom kissing in the hall, and it felt weird to see, because he should only be seeing me because he’s my friend and I found him first. He only needs to tell things to me and why can’t he see that? Why can’t he see that he should tell me everything? He didn’t tell me about her. He didn’t tell me that he liked her. He kept it from me, and it feels like he lied. But I can’t blame him, because look how I reacted. Look at what happened. He tried to protect me like he always does, and I hate him. I hate him for it. I hate every part of him because he’s going to leave me. He’s not asking me to stay because he wants me to leave. He wants me to leave so he can go on and live his life without a little kid hanging on to him. He wants me to go so he can have a home.” I’m starting to get worked up again, knowing how harsh my words sound and, saying them aloud, how untrue they are. Nothing I’ve just said describes Dom. Nothing I’ve said is who he is. This is not on him. This is on me.
“But you don’t believe that, do you?” Bear asks, again proving he knows me better than I know myself.
“I don’t know.”
“Kid.”
“No. Okay? No. No, I don’t believe that. I’m scared, but I don’t believe that. Not really. Not completely. It’s just all messed up in my head and I can’t focus, Bear. Why can’t I focus?” I start to pant again.
“Easy. Breathe. Just breathe.”
I do. Bear rubs my chest, and I do.
“I’m scared, Bear.”
“About what?”
“Everything. The future. Leaving him behind.”
“Can I be honest?”
“Yeah.”
“Me too. I’m scared too.”
“Why’re you scared?”
He sighs. “Because I don’t know if I’m doing right by you. I don’t know if I’m doing right by Otter. I’m worried about uprooting our lives and going clear across the country. I’m worried that I might never want what Otter wants. I’m scared that you’re going to grow up and I won’t be ready to let you go. I’m scared that you’re going to want to go live your life away from me and I don’t know if I can handle that. I don’t know if I can stand to not see you every day.”
I laugh a watery bark. “We’re just a codependent mess, aren’t we?”