But it’s inevitable.

I open my mouth to tell Dom everything, because I can’t keep this from him. I just can’t. Then he opens the door to the Green Monstrosity.

“Surprise!” everyone screams.

Surprise. Surprise. Surprise.

“REMINDS ME of the party we had for you,” Creed tells me hours later. “You remember that jumping castle we had in the backyard?”

“Urgh. Don’t remind me. Bear and Otter wanted to get one for Dom as a joke, but I think they’re weirdly kinky about jumping castles. I don’t think the guests would have appreciated a show.”

Anna gives a choking laugh from her spot next to her husband. “That’s something that I could have completely gone without knowing.” She furrowed her brow. “Wait, weren’t Bear and I still dating when that party happened?”

“You are so not allowed to be jealous over something like that,” Creed says, pretending to look wounded. “Besides, you know nothing happened between them back then. At least at that point.”

“Except the falling in love with each other part.”

“Well, think of it this way,” he says. “You traded in a gay and got a huge old motherfucking stud. You upgraded, baby.”

“Daddy? What’s motherfucking?” JJ asks, appearing at his side. Like most five-year-olds, he looks a bit sticky, juice and cake and dirt smeared all over him. The fact that he’s the spitting image of his dad and uncle makes the effect slightly more amusing.

“It’s what I do to your mother,” Creed tells him, grinning.

“Creed!” Anna slaps him on the arm before leaning over, licking her thumb, and wiping her son’s face. “Your daddy is in big trouble,” she tells JJ. “He’s going to be grounded later, much like you’ll be if I ever hear you say that word. We don’t say that word out loud. Right, Creed?”

“Er. Right. Never, ever say motherfucking. Or balls.”

JJ nods. “Okay. I won’t say motherfucking balls.”

“I love you, dude,” Creed says, adoration clear in his voice. I laugh until I get a glare from Anna.

JJ cackles and high-fives his father before he takes off running in a group of munchkins being led by Bear and Otter.

“You know,” I tell them, “you guys cursed around me that much when I was his age, and I turned out okay.”

Creed eyes me up and down. “Define ‘okay’.”

“I can dress myself and feed myself and walk without falling down. Most of the time.”

“Success, motherfucker!” He says it in a low voice, though, so his distracted wife won’t hear him. Anna has the run of their version of the Thompson household, that’s for sure. Creed likes to pretend he still has his balls, but I’m pretty sure they were removed the moment he asked Anna to marry him last year. I asked them once why they waited so long. Anna said she was carefully weighing all her options just to make sure. I thought that was funny. Creed didn’t.

We watch as Bear and Otter lead a group of kids in some game I can’t quite figure out. Bear looks like he’s miming that he’s either a teacup or a rhinoceros with a skin disorder, and Otter’s jumping up and down as if he’s excited about Bear’s status as a cup or a flaky rhino. The kids around them scream with laughter, and JJ breaks through all of them and jumps into Otter’s arms, shouting, “Uncle O! Uncle O!” Otter laughs and spins him around and around and around.