I turn to slide out of the bed carefully, doing my best not to wake him so he doesn’t see me scowling at him, muttering under my breath as I try and cast hexes in his general direction, even though I haven’t yet become a high priest capable of such things. Apparently I’m incapable of multitasking after only having ten minutes of sleep because instead of standing on my feet like a normal person, my knee catches the slightly open drawer of the dirty perverted nightstand, knocking it open and onto the floor, followed quickly by the bowl of condoms and at least four different kinds of lube. I couldn’t have made more noise had I blasted a trumpet in his ear while surrounded by a flock of blue-footed boobies during mating season.

I bend down to pick up everything I’ve knocked off the table and have managed to grab a couple of items off the floor when Dominic says sleepily, “What are you doing?”

“Just cleaning. Go back to sleep.”

“What you got there?”

I stand back up and he’s peering over at me, his eyes half-closed, and I realize I’m holding a condom, a bottle of Boy-Ease, and a red dildo the size of my forearm. What the fuck is wrong with this nightstand! Goddamn sex dungeon of the drag queen Helena Handbasket!

“This is all a dream,” I manage to say. “You’re still asleep and when you wake up, you won’t remember any of this.”

He mumbles something else at me before he lays his head back down on the pillow. I honestly can’t believe that worked. I literally just convinced him that he was dreaming while I held a floppy rubber dong in my hands. Maybe it won’t be that bad. Maybe I can get control of this again. I can! I’ve got this! I’m Tyson Fucking Thompson, genius extraordinaire, and I’ve motherfucking got this!

“At least wait until I get more sleep before you try to use that on me,” he says. It’s followed by a low snore.

I don’t have this! I don’t! I’m Tyson Fucking Thompson, indecisive twinkie, and I don’t have this in the slightest!

I throw the dildo to the floor and flee the room.

THE HOUSE is quiet around me as I leave the sex dungeon. The sky is beginning to lighten through the windows, and I give strong consideration to getting back in the SUV and driving back to Seafare so Bear can protect me from the big bad world. Then I remember I am twenty years old and pretty much a man now. Well, sort of a man.

I’m thinking about wandering into the kitchen to find some coffee when I see Sandy out through the sliding door, sitting crossed-legged on the patio, back arched up straight. I open the door and step out into the warm air.

Sandy lets out a breath and glances back at me. He smiles sweetly when he sees me. “Good morning, baby doll. You’re up early.”