Contents ( 42)
- The Art of Breathing
- Part One: How We Became Who We Are
- Prologue: Or, Where the Kid Hears the Word of the Day
- 1. Where Tyson Learns to Breathe
- 2. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 3. Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out
- 4. Where Tyson Says Good-Bye
- 5. Where Tyson Gets the Mail
- Part Two: Coming Home
- 6. Where Tyson Comes Home
- 7. Where Tyson Gives a History Lesson
- 8. Where Tyson Attends the Most Awkward Party Ever
- 9. Where Tyson Plans Attends a Protest
- 10. Where Tyson Gets Arrested
- 11. Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him
- 12. Where Tyson Writes Bad Poetry and Gawks at Frat Boys
- 13. Where Tyson Decides to Man the Fuck Up
- 14. Where Tyson Asks Some Questions
- 15. Where Tyson Remembers Theresa Jean Paquinn
- 16. Where Tyson Learns the Benefit of Therapy
- 17. Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
- 18. Where Tyson Gets Screwed at His Own Birthday Party (And Not in a Good Way)
- Part Three: Just Breathe
- 19. Where Tyson Goes to Helena Handbasket’s Sex Dungeon
- 20. Where Tyson Beholds the Awesome Wonder That Is Paul Auster
- 21. Where Tyson Receives Advice from the Six Sages
- 22. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 23. Where Tyson Hears the Inevitable
- 24. Where Tyson Meets His Match
- 25. Where Tyson Says Hello, Where Tyson Says Good-bye
- 26. Where Tyson Touches upon the Inevitable
- 27. Where Tyson Faces the Music
- 28. Where Tyson Breathes
- 29. Tyson And Dominic
- 30. The Art Of Breathing
- Epilogue: Or, Bear’s Perspective, As It Were (Yeah, He’s Gonna Freak)
- Author’s Note
- Excerpt
- Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
- More from TJ Klune
- Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
- By TJ Klune
It seems Helena Handbasket is never too far under the surface.
“Baby dolls,” Sandy says warmly. “I am so very happy you made it okay.” He walks over to Kori and hugs her tightly, lifting Kori off the ground and twirling her around. He whispers something in her ear, something meant for just the two of them, and I see Kori stiffen for a moment. She shakes her head and shrugs as Sandy kisses her cheek. “We’ll figure it out,” he says.
He turns to me. “Little Twinkie Tyson!” he says, and he wraps me in a hug as well. “You look even more delicious in person.” He peeks over my shoulder. “God, if I had that ass when I was your age, I probably would have done porn. You ever think of doing porn? Pretty sure you’d make a buck or two. People would be jerking off to you left and right. Probably already do.”
I flush furiously. “Uh… no. No porn. Not yet.”
He tosses his head back and laughs. It’s a sweet sound. “‘Not yet,’ he says. Well, honey, if that’s what you’re looking for, I’m sure I could hook you up.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Somehow, I don’t think it’d fly back home if I were in porn. I’m pretty sure Otter and Bear would shit themselves. And what if they like porn (gross!) and somehow stumble across it and see me getting my ass—
Wow. I need to stop that train of thought right now. I blame Tucson. There has to be something in the air that makes you think really dirty things.
Sandy does a double take as Dom climbs out of the backseat. Dom stretches and his shirt rises up slightly, a thin strip of skin showing through, and I can almost hear Helena Handbasket roaring forward. Gone is the blandly handsome Sandy with a sweet smile. Gone, too, apparently, are any bones, judging by the way he’s able to slink and slide his way over to Dom. Dom has a small grin on his face, as if this man already amuses him greatly.
“Well, well, well,” Sandy purrs. “What do we have here?” He presses up against Dom’s side, laying his head on his shoulder. “Where, my large luscious piece of man cake, have you been all my life? I bet you could bench-press three of me without breaking a sweat, but lucky you, there’s only one of me and trust me when I say I’m more than enough man for you to handle.”
Uh. Wait. What?
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Dom says, patting Sandy on the top of the head.
“That voice!” Sandy squeaks. “Please tell me that you’ve done porn and where I can buy it. Take my money. Take all my money.”
“I haven’t done porn,” Dom says, much to the detriment of the entire world, I’m sure. “I don’t know how well that’d go over with the department.”
Sandy’s eyes go dramatically wide. “You’re the police officer? Honey, I don’t think that’s a problem for your department. Haven’t you ever seen C.O.P.S: Cum On Perverted Suspects? Those cops had no problem shoving their nightsticks up each other’s asses.”