“That sounds unpleasant,” Otter says, coming to stand next to me where I stand partially hidden behind a gaudy fake tree/plant thing Bear found at a swap meet that for some reason he adores. Otter and I have both tried to accidentally light the aptly named Gross Bush Tree Thing on fire. Both times, Bear caught us. He was not amused. “Who are you threatening?”

“Oh, Dom!” Corey practically shouts as he all but rubs his entire body up against Dominic’s huge body. “Aren’t you just dear! I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who has put me in such a good humor!”

“Ah,” Otter says sagely. “Now it’s as clear as mud.”

“Shards of bone,” I growl.

“Who are we staring at?” Creed asks, coming up to stand by his brother.

“Death by raging fire,” I say with a scowl.

“Tell me, Dom!” Corey says, louder than the thirty other people in the room. “What’s your favorite position? You know. In sports. I prefer to play all over the field!”

“Oh,” Creed says. “Now I get it. I think. Whose death are we plotting?”

“I think right now it could be either or,” Otter says. “Or both. Or neither.”

“So we’re plotting behind Gross Bush Tree Thing, then? I feel my life has been missing evil plots as of late. Anna’s pregnancy makes me tired.”

“What about Anna being pregnant?” Otter asks.

Creed waves his hand. “All she has to do is carry the little bastard. I’m the one who has to lose sleep next to her when she kicks me awake all night because her back hurts.”

“Yeah, probably shouldn’t let your wife hear that.”

“Too late,” Anna says, cuffing Creed upside the head. “If it bothers you that much, you can sleep on the couch. Why are we hiding behind Gross Bush Tree Thing?”

“We’re planning murder,” Creed explains.

Her eyes go wide. “Oooh! It’s been so long since I’ve done that.”

“What about last week when I left the toilet seat up again and you fell in at three in the morning?”

She smiles sweetly at Creed. “No murder. Not yet. Once I get your spawn out of me, then we’ll talk. I don’t want to be pregnant in jail.”

“It’s a love for the ages,” he says, kissing his wife on the nose.

“Who are we going to murder?” Anna asks.

“Tell me, Officer,” Corey says with a giggle and all the subtlety of an atomic bomb made of unicorns and glitter. “Do you ever get to use those handcuffs and nightstick for anything more… adventurous?”

“The black plague in your brain,” I mutter.

“Ah,” Anna says. “Have we figured out which one?”

“Not yet,” Otter says.

“I have an idea,” Creed says.

“You don’t have many of those,” Anna says. “Hold on to it while you can.”

“I forgot how much fun you are when you’re pregnant,” Creed says. “It’s like being married to a—”

“Choose your next words very carefully,” Anna says. “Especially if you ever want to do that one thing again.”