Contents ( 42)
- The Art of Breathing
- Part One: How We Became Who We Are
- Prologue: Or, Where the Kid Hears the Word of the Day
- 1. Where Tyson Learns to Breathe
- 2. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 3. Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out
- 4. Where Tyson Says Good-Bye
- 5. Where Tyson Gets the Mail
- Part Two: Coming Home
- 6. Where Tyson Comes Home
- 7. Where Tyson Gives a History Lesson
- 8. Where Tyson Attends the Most Awkward Party Ever
- 9. Where Tyson Plans Attends a Protest
- 10. Where Tyson Gets Arrested
- 11. Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him
- 12. Where Tyson Writes Bad Poetry and Gawks at Frat Boys
- 13. Where Tyson Decides to Man the Fuck Up
- 14. Where Tyson Asks Some Questions
- 15. Where Tyson Remembers Theresa Jean Paquinn
- 16. Where Tyson Learns the Benefit of Therapy
- 17. Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
- 18. Where Tyson Gets Screwed at His Own Birthday Party (And Not in a Good Way)
- Part Three: Just Breathe
- 19. Where Tyson Goes to Helena Handbasket’s Sex Dungeon
- 20. Where Tyson Beholds the Awesome Wonder That Is Paul Auster
- 21. Where Tyson Receives Advice from the Six Sages
- 22. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
- 23. Where Tyson Hears the Inevitable
- 24. Where Tyson Meets His Match
- 25. Where Tyson Says Hello, Where Tyson Says Good-bye
- 26. Where Tyson Touches upon the Inevitable
- 27. Where Tyson Faces the Music
- 28. Where Tyson Breathes
- 29. Tyson And Dominic
- 30. The Art Of Breathing
- Epilogue: Or, Bear’s Perspective, As It Were (Yeah, He’s Gonna Freak)
- Author’s Note
- Excerpt
- Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
- More from TJ Klune
- Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
- By TJ Klune
Wow. Apparently, she brings up very conflicting feelings for me. She’s nice, but she’s also the definition of pure evil. Sort of.
“Hi, Mom,” Ben says. He scoots himself down from his chair and walks around the table. He stops in front of her and she leans down, smacking a wet kiss on his lips. He smiles up at her as he presses his shoulder into her leg. She looks as beautiful as always, and standing together, they seem to make the perfect family. I wonder just how far off base we were, if they’re still married. I’ve probably somehow found myself on Dominic’s only day off in a month and they’re all planning on doing something as a family, and here I bust right in, talking about shotgun weddings and playing Bitchy Cop.
My life is a travesty of epic proportions. This is probably going to get very awkward very quickly.
“It’s amazing,” Stacey says. Her voice sounds a little thick, as if she’s getting ready to cry. “You were right, big guy. That’s something else.”
Oh boy. Here it goes. The secret language of married couples who are madly in love and talk right in front of me about things I don’t understand. Lovely. I’m so glad I came here and got to have this rubbed in my face. Knowing my luck, she’s probably pregnant again. If I squint hard enough, it looks like she’s gaining weight in her face, so she sort of has jowls (okay, not really, but it’s making me feel better, at least a little bit). Where the hell is a walrus when you need one? Come to think of it, can a person even buy a walrus? I don’t know if I could do that. PETA would probably end up banning me for life, and even though the organization is pretty much off its meds now, I still want to be in good standing with it so that when I take control of it one day, there won’t be too much of a fight.
God, I am so weird.
Stacey comes over to me, and before I can do anything to stop her, she wraps me in a hug and squeezes me tightly. For a moment, my arms hang at my sides, but even I’m not that rude, so I reach up and pat her back a couple of times. I didn’t know we were to the hugging phase of our relationship yet. I almost feel bad for wishing for a walrus.
Almost.
“It’s so good to see you again,” she says in my ear. “It’s been a while.”
“It’s been four years,” Dominic says from behind her, as if no one in the room was aware how long it’d been. Maybe the walrus can get him too. I wouldn’t feel so bad about that one.
“Too long,” she says as she steps back. She rubs her hands down my arms until she grabs my own, then presses her fingers against mine. There’s a scrape of metal from her ring finger, and I think, Stupid, stupid, stupid. You didn’t see his ring because he was in uniform. He probably doesn’t wear it to work. Of course they’re still married. “How you been, Kid?” she asks me.