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Contents ( 42)
  1. The Art of Breathing
  2. Part One: How We Became Who We Are
  3. Prologue: Or, Where the Kid Hears the Word of the Day
  4. 1. Where Tyson Learns to Breathe
  5. 2. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
  6. 3. Where Tyson Graduates and Bear Freaks Out
  7. 4. Where Tyson Says Good-Bye
  8. 5. Where Tyson Gets the Mail
  9. Part Two: Coming Home
  10. 6. Where Tyson Comes Home
  11. 7. Where Tyson Gives a History Lesson
  12. 8. Where Tyson Attends the Most Awkward Party Ever
  13. 9. Where Tyson Plans Attends a Protest
  14. 10. Where Tyson Gets Arrested
  15. 11. Where Tyson Gets His Ass Handed to Him
  16. 12. Where Tyson Writes Bad Poetry and Gawks at Frat Boys
  17. 13. Where Tyson Decides to Man the Fuck Up
  18. 14. Where Tyson Asks Some Questions
  19. 15. Where Tyson Remembers Theresa Jean Paquinn
  20. 16. Where Tyson Learns the Benefit of Therapy
  21. 17. Where Tyson Meets the Man Who Becomes Helena Handbasket
  22. 18. Where Tyson Gets Screwed at His Own Birthday Party (And Not in a Good Way)
  23. Part Three: Just Breathe
  24. 19. Where Tyson Goes to Helena Handbasket’s Sex Dungeon
  25. 20. Where Tyson Beholds the Awesome Wonder That Is Paul Auster
  26. 21. Where Tyson Receives Advice from the Six Sages
  27. 22. Where Tyson Makes a Phone Call
  28. 23. Where Tyson Hears the Inevitable
  29. 24. Where Tyson Meets His Match
  30. 25. Where Tyson Says Hello, Where Tyson Says Good-bye
  31. 26. Where Tyson Touches upon the Inevitable
  32. 27. Where Tyson Faces the Music
  33. 28. Where Tyson Breathes
  34. 29. Tyson And Dominic
  35. 30. The Art Of Breathing
  36. Epilogue: Or, Bear’s Perspective, As It Were (Yeah, He’s Gonna Freak)
  37. Author’s Note
  38. Excerpt
  39. Prologue: Or, Where Bear Answers the Door
  40. More from TJ Klune
  41. Readers love the Bear, Otter, and the Kid Chronicles by TJ Klune
  42. By TJ Klune

Kids at my school were unsure what to do with me. I was too young to hang out with kids taking the same classes I was, too smart for the kids my own age, too weird to be appreciated by anyone who hadn’t been around for years. I didn’t mind. Well, not much. Okay, maybe a little, because I always felt that I was under a microscope, like some kind of weird freaky-looking thing that people didn’t quite know how to categorize.

So I figured I could improve my social skills by tutoring others and also earn money at the same time so I could tell Dom I’d gotten his gift by myself. For some reason, that last thing was very important to me.

I raised the money, yeah. But the social side of it? That was a freaking nightmare. I swear I was speaking English, but my pupils didn’t seem to understand a single word coming out of my mouth.

I don’t use big words just so I sound smart. I’m not like that. I just… I don’t know. I operate on a completely different wavelength, I guess. At least I know I’ll never be a teacher like Bear. How he has that much patience is beyond me. I wanted to pull my hair out ten minutes into the first session.

But it was worth it, because it let me afford his gift. At least, I hope it’s going to be worth it when he sees it. Is it the right thing to give him? Or is it stupid? Is it such trite sentimental bullshit that he’ll take one look at it and roll his eyes?

Crap.

I shuffle through my list, trying to clear my head. It’s not working. I’m starting to feel anxious, that old feeling constricting slightly in my chest. I need this damn party to go off perfectly or else I’m going to have a minor meltdown. I try and focus on my breathing like Eddie taught me how to do years ago when I was diagnosed as having panic attacks. Bear too, though his are lesser in strength and frequency than mine. I didn’t want to go on medication, and Eddie is a little too Zen to write prescriptions anyway, so we tried meditation and breathing, and it worked for the most part. And it should work now. I’m not that far gone yet. I don’t have the clawing at my heart, the constricting of my throat, but it could get there. It could get there so easily. One little push and everything would get a little hazy because nothing will work right, and I—

No. No. No.

All I need to do is breathe.

Just breathe.

In. Hold for three seconds.

I don’t want to go to the bathtub today.

Out. Hold for three seconds.

There are no earthquakes. I do not shake.

In. Hold for three seconds.

I am not having a panic attack. I am above it.

Out. Hold for three seconds.