It’s not so bad, after the first hundred or so times. Trust me. You can get used to anything.

As a demmie-designed exploration ship, the Clever Gamble looks like nothing else in the known universe. There are typically garish dem-style drive struts, looking like frosting swirls on some manic baker’s confection. These are linked to a surprisingly efficient and sensible engineering pod, which then clashes with a habitation module resembling some fairytale castle straight out of Hans Christian Andersen.

Then there is the Reel.

The Reel is a gigantic, protruding disk that takes up half the mass and volume of the ship, all in order to lug a prodigious, unbelievable hose all over the galaxy, frightening comets and intimidating the natives wherever we go. This conduit was already half-deployed by the time the ship’s artificer and healer met us in the slurry room. Through the viewer, we could see a tapering line descend toward the planet’s surface, homing in on a selected landing site.

The captain hopped about, full of ebullient energy. For the record, I reminded him that, contrary to explicit rules and common sense, the descent party once again consisted of the ship’s top four officers, while a fully-trained xenology team waited on standby, just three decks below.

“Are you kidding?” he replied. “I served on one of those teams, long ago. Boringest time I ever had.”

“But the thrill of contacting alien…”

“What contact? All’s we did was sit around while the top brass went down to all the new planets, and did all the fighting and peacemaking and screwing. Well it’s my turn now. Let ’em stew like I did!” He whirled to the reel operator. “Hose almost ready?”

“Aye sir. The Nozzle End has been inserted behind some shrubs in what looks like a park, in their biggest city.”

I sighed. This was not an approach I would have chosen. But most of the time you just have to go with the flow. It really is implacable. And things often turn out all right in the end. Surprisingly often.

The Captain rubbed his hands, raising visible sparks of static electricity. “Good. Then let’s see what’s down there!”

What can I say? Enthusiasm always was his most compelling trait. Ohm truly is hard to resist. Resignedly, I followed my leader to the dissolving room.

We were met outside by Ensign Nota Taken, who offered Ohm a tube to hold his non-organic tools. While the captain handed over his laser pistol and communicator, I was assisted by my own deputy – apprentice-advisor Frieder Koch – fresh out of Earth’s Academy and one of only ten humans aboard the Clever Gamble.

“Stay close to Commander Talon,” I murmured to Frieder, referring to the demmie officer left in charge.