‘I’m almost there’ I texted.

‘good stuff :-)’ the message said.

I waited for a long time under the blotty sky. The road was very busy, New Year’s Eve and just past lunch. I sighed up at Vivian’s, where the window was shut and the suggestive curtains were tucked neatly behind the glass. My foot hurt, but it was fine. ‘I’m just downstairs,’ I texted.

He buzzed me up. I caught the lift. ‘Are you on PrEP yet?’ he asked. He wore a stripey jockstrap and a pair of stripey socks, pulled high.

I shook my head. He threw up his arms.

‘Are you kidding me?’

‘I’m so sorry,’ I said. I crawled into his bed and pulled the doona over me; it was much nicer than my doona, thick and deep inside.

‘Lie down with me,’ I said.

‘Get your shoes out of my bed,’ he said.

I moved my feet off the side of the bed. He came over and crawled in.

His breath was furry poison. ‘I’ve been drinking all morning,’ he said.

I moved my face away from his. ‘That’s pretty cool,’ I said.

‘You have to,’ he said. ‘It’s New Year’s Eve and everything.’

I moved further away from him; too human, too hot.

‘Why would you come here?’ he said. ‘Do you like playing with men?’

I guessed I did. Maybe this was my kink, just being a bad person. I wondered if this was listed in the global index of kinks, or if it comprised a range of more indexable specifics.

‘I’m actually non-dating,’ I yawned.

He propped himself up. ‘You’re just having some me-time.’

‘That’s right.’ I smiled sleepily. ‘I’m just taking a little time to look out for me.’

I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was alone in the bed. Unlike in the car, when I’d been ripped from sleep by Lachlan pulling over, I felt bright, revivified. It could have been hours. I stretched slowly, and got up slowly, and peered out of the bed. My Richmond friend was sitting fully clothed at the kitchen bench.

‘Hello. You have to go now,’ he said. He was looking at his phone.

‘Okay,’ I said. I walked for the door. I stopped. ‘Look. For what it’s worth —’

He looked up at me. I stopped.

‘I’m not trying to mess with you,’ I said.

His expression softened. ‘I realise that,’ he said. ‘As I said the other night, you have no clue what you’re doing.’ And he was working himself up again, his hands becoming animated. ‘You guys think you’re all so young, but you are not that young. Life is now, not later! It matters! It’s a privilege!’

I couldn’t stop laughing. ‘Stop. Who are these guys?’ I said.

‘You!’