I wish the crew were noisier. I can hear every bump and scrape of the beacon’s bottom against the deck in the dead silence that pursues me. Careful to keep my hands from slipping, I lift it over the edge and set it on its hooks.

I could key in the wrong code. I could order Bao to dive, and it would take minutes for the captain and the crew to figure out that I hadn’t followed orders. But if I bought those minutes, I don’t know how I’d spend them. And the cost would be painful. A bullet in a nonessential extremity, or worse, a finger or two gone forever. I feel my own selfishness take root again, that same selfishness that kept me from killing Bao back when he was a pup, that made me hesitate to take the pill when I had the chance.

I flip the switch, hating myself a little more with every blink of the LEDs.

Santa Elena pulls Code over to the edge of the deck. Fear flashes in his eyes, and it twists something deep inside me, something I can’t bear anymore. I stand up straight, my fists balled so tightly that my nails bite into the skin of my palms, and say, “Don’t do this.”

The captain pauses.

“He’s not going to become the monster you want him to be if you give him a person. He needs boats to train on—he needs to learn to track LED signals. I’ve had to stop his training because he doesn’t have a ship to wreck, and I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner, and I’m sorry. This does nothing. And it’s cruel.”

That’s it. I’ve thrown my cards on the table. I’ve given her what she wants, what I’ve been keeping from her for weeks. Come after me. Do what you want with me, but just leave this boy alone.

“Swift,” the captain says, her steely gaze flickering back to the other trainees lined up on the deck. “Your pet seems to have forgotten her place on my ship. I think you’ve given her leash a little too much slack. Rein her in.”

And Swift, the girl who saved my life, the girl who slept with one arm slung over me, her breathing so close that I could feel it in my hair, steps forward and grabs me roughly by the wrist. “Stand down,” she hisses in my ear. “This doesn’t help us.”

Screw that. I wrench myself from her grip and lunge for the beacon, but Swift surges forward and wraps both arms around my waist, hauling me back deeper onto the deck.