THE DAY MOVED AT A SNAIL’S PACE AS I KEPT TO MYself in our house, rehearsing Rose’s words of warning. Whatever consequence I would suffer was of my own making because I’d broken the law, plain and simple. Purity came at a cost, and I would have to pay that cost.

Little things led to bigger things, which led to terrible things. God could see even a small amount of selfishness, like painting flowers on my undergarments. Even my stray thoughts of wanting things I didn’t have would cause me suffering. Getting away with those things had emboldened me to help Jamie break the law. And look how that had turned out. What had I been thinking!

I would work extra hard to stay in line. I would show everyone that I was sorry for the danger I’d placed us all in. I would love the children and be a pure example for them—the thought of any harm coming to them because of me made me sick. I would show honor and respect to every member of our holy haven and be a shining example that made Rose proud.

They were keeping Jamie isolated at the clinic. My mother said he’d had a rough morning, and they wanted to keep visitors to a minimum. He’d asked for me again, which only made my desire to see him grow. But I wasn’t in a position to question Rose’s decision to deny any visitors.

The afternoon was the worst for me, because normally I’d be caring for the children. I used some of the time to bathe again and take special care to prepare myself for my visit with Andrew. I would be the perfect wife for him, even if I didn’t care for being with him. Who was I to say what should or shouldn’t be? Especially now.

Near dusk, sparkling clean and resolved to be the perfect bride, I told my mother I loved her, then headed out to my husband’s house, where I would prepare dinner and fulfill his needs.

It was then, crossing the south side of our small town, that I became aware of my place as the shunned woman I would be until I regained the trust of the community. Mary Hansen was hurrying home with little Bart, passing by the supply store, when I stepped onto the main street. The boy immediately brightened as he always did when he saw me.

“Grace!” He started toward me, but his mother grabbed his hand and jerked him back, speaking to him in a hushed voice. She didn’t acknowledge me with her customary greeting or smile. I was off-limits to her son.