“Oh my,” she said, in mock surprise. Then, as if she had it all planned, she castled short. 0-0. She smiled but did not look at me.

“Your daughter is a demon,” I said to Meg.

“Oh, I know.”

“A demon,” I repeated, looking at Sarah’s beautiful face. “She is not kind to her poor old father.”

“War is hell,” she said. “Do you know why I always beat you, Daddy?”

“Tell me.”

“Because you hate to lose pieces.”

“Is that so?”

“You can’t protect everybody. You just have to get the better of it or get the position you want.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Nbd7

All those bones in that cave. Stories in those bones, in the pack rat middens, in the layers. Were they stories if they happened to creatures that don’t tell stories? I wondered if the memories of birds were stories. Did things happen to birds they knew? I could not forensically determine the cause of death of any of the birds I had found. I knew nothing about them except their ages and that I assumed that they looked like other birds of the same species, all speculation, induction, perhaps desire to believe that I knew something about their world, if not my own.

Nd2 Qc7

“Where are you going?” Meg asked.

“Campus. I thought I’d work in my office for a while,” I said.

“You never work there.”

“I’m going to start trying. Campus is nice at night when no one is around. There’s some stuff I need to do in the lab too.”

“Are we going to be okay?” Meg asked.

I was at the door, my hand on the knob. “I don’t know,” I said. “I’m just so lost right now.”

“Me too.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“About what?”

“That you have to live through this.”

Meg didn’t respond to that. “Sarah is excited about Paris. That was a good idea. Maybe it will be good for us too.”

“Maybe.”

“How long will you be out?”

“Not long,” I said, though I didn’t know what I was telling her. The truth was, I had no idea how to work in my campus office. There was actually nothing for me to do in the lab, my being uncharacteristically caught up. I was lying to my wife. I was headed out to a bar near campus. I had no idea why, except that I had to be someplace.

Qc2 g5