How could I explain? The pitying looks, the confusion. Grant wouldn’t understand. He would judge me—about leaving Damian, about not being humane and staying, no matter what. Ride or die. I cut and run instead.

“He what?”

Grant’s words were soft, but still seething. The anger was still there.

I braced myself, because I knew it was coming at me.

“I can’t,” I choked out. “I can’t do this. Excuse me.”

I was empty.

I walked past Grant, tuning him out. He was saying something, but I was gone.

Suddenly I wasn’t so grateful for a day off.

Chapter Nineteen

I rolled over the next morning and turned my phone on.

It had taken almost the whole day for me to get the Damian shame out of me. I’d gone to Reese’s empty cabin and stayed most the day. Since the athletes were gone, we had no meals scheduled, so I’d heated some leftovers from the staff fridge. I hadn’t seen anyone else when I walked back to the village, and since it was still nice out, I’d kept going. I’d walked the trails for another hour before returning to Reese’s cabin, and then I did something I never thought I’d do.

I’d opened my laptop.

Lightning bolt!

Gasp. Shock. Yes, I actually did what my therapist suggested. I turned it on, brought up my music, plugged in my headphones, and I typed. Judah & the Lion were crooning in my ear. I didn’t know what I’d typed—half the stuff was in red squiggles from being misspelled, but I felt better at the end. Enough that I saved the document, shoved the laptop aside, and curled up on Reese’s bed to sleep the rest of the night.

It was still cold in the cabin, so it wasn’t that late, but I was too lazy to get up and check the clock in the main area. I waited till my phone flashed on to check the time, but the buzzing started, and it kept going.

Buzz.

Buzz.

Buzz.

Buzz!

BUZZ!

BUZZZZZ!

I got it.

I hit silence on my phone, but still watched the alerts come through.

Wtf?

Where are you?

U okay?

Holy fuck, gnat.

Text me.

Why do I care? I care. Fuck’s sake. Answer me.

Dude.

There was a whole list of them, all from the same number, and I had a feeling I now knew Reese’s phone number.

I pulled up the last one and texted back.

Me: I’m here. Turned phone off last night.

My phone rang, vibrating alive in my hand within seconds.

“Don’t tell me you were concerned about me?” I said in greeting. “How’d you get my number?”

He snorted. “Snagged it one night and I was bored. You’re supposed to entertain me. You’re slacking, Direction Girl.”

Ah. I’d been demoted.