“And all the time that my dad was giving me relationship advice, he was cheating on my mom. He convinced me to pull away from you and then he went and screwed us all over.” Ryan looks at the wall behind me for a while before refocusing. “I haven’t spoken to him since he told me the truth. Not for ten years.”

I sit up fully then, feeling the color drain from my face. “What? Are you serious?”

“I was left with nothing and it was his fault. I couldn’t just let that go.”

My stomach is queasy and my eyesight blurs. I have a million things to say and words fall out of my mouth in a trembling heap. “Stop. You can be mad about what happened between your dad and mom and how he lied to you, but don’t blame him for what happened between us. That was you and me. Just you and me. Your dad was clearly going through something, but I’m sure he thought he was doing the right thing when it came to you. Don’t cut him out of your life. You’ll never regret the times you talk to your parents, only the times you don’t.”

Ryan shakes his head with a lazy smile. “You’re too nice for your own good.”

“You’re not listening to me!” I’m yelling now and his eyes turn nervous. I need to make him understand. I try to sound in control, but it’s so hard. “Believe me when I say that there are few things on this Earth I wouldn’t do if it meant I could have one more conversation with my dad. I regret every second I saw him without telling him what he meant to me, and I hate myself for every moment I could have spent with him but didn’t.”

I pick up the pillow next to me, not sure if I want to punch it or squeeze it or hurl it across the room at Ryan’s head. I end up pushing it into my lap and moving my hands across the surface until I reach the corners.

I look up and Ryan is watching me like I’m an exotic creature he’s found in the wild, untethered and mesmerizing and capable of mauling him at any second. He says nothing.

“You have what I’d kill for. I’m not saying you have to forgive him. Just promise me you’ll talk to him. Promise me you’ll try.”

It takes a few seconds and the air turns thick between us, but Ryan slowly nods. “I will. I’ll try to try, if that makes sense.”