“Yeah,” I say. Tyr doesn’t really seem to be in a mindset to bond to Apricia or run a kingdom.

“Anyway,” Marici says. “What can we do?”

I set them to work and then return to my patient’s bedside.

A while later, a heavy hand lands on my shoulder, and I look up to see Gabriel standing over me. His skin is pale, and the circles under his eyes are dark with worry.

“How is it out there?” I ask.

He shakes his head, disbelief written into every line of his face.

“Is this the thing you told us about? The magic?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “I think so.”

He sighs, rubs a hand along the back of his neck, and rolls his shoulders. “So there’s no controlling this.”

“Not yet,” I say. “But I’m trying to figure this out.”

“By replacing Zerra?”

“No,” I say. “I am not doing that. I’ll find another way.”

He gives me a skeptical look, and guilt twists in my chest. I should want to do this for the good of Ouranos, shouldn’t I? Am I being selfish? If it can only be another ruler or Primary, then why is my fight to remain free any more important than theirs?

Part of me doesn’t care. Ouranos has never done anything for me or my family. Everyone sat by and let Rion torment us for over a decade, and then when I was finally released, I was thrust into a contest that nearly killed me. Everyone in Ouranos is trying to use me for their own ends. But that also isn’t fair to the innocent people who’ve had nothing to do with any of this. It also isn’t fair to the people of Heart—the only ones I truly need to be loyal to—if they lose everything.

“I’ll find another way,” I repeat, hoping that’s true.

“Sir,” a soldier says, coming up to Gabriel. “The tally is currently sitting at five hundred twenty-six dead and one thousand forty-two injured.”

Those numbers make my blood run cold. So many people. Even one is too much. And that doesn’t even account for those we lost in the chasm forever.

“Thank you,” Gabriel says, his voice twisted with emotion.

The soldier bows and then walks away before Gabriel looks down at me. His eyes go to the man I’m trying to heal—a large gash sliced across his forehead. “Thank you for helping, Lor. After everything we did to you, you didn’t owe Aphelion any more of yourself.”

Then he spins on his heel and walks away, leaving me staring after him in shock.

Now I know the world must be ending because did he just say something nice?

CHAPTER 39