‘Here we are, then,’ Alice said, coming back into the room with a tray. ‘Oh. Mum’s asleep,’ she added with a small sigh. ‘She must have had a big morning.’ Alice smiled at Elle, setting the tray of food on the table. ‘Never mind, I’ll heat her soup back up when she wakes again, and we’ll have ours.’ She placed a bowl of soup in front of Elle. Although it smelled delicious, Elle had lost her appetite. Her thoughts were still on the terrible tale Moira had told her. Poor, poor Gran. She forced herself to eat, though, grateful that Alice had gone to the trouble to make her lunch, but she only listened to the conversation with half an ear as she pondered everything she had just learned. Now, finally, things were beginning to make sense.

For one, she knew that Gran had suffered ongoing medical problems and had a hysterectomy shortly after she gave birth to Alister, putting an end to her hopes of having any more children. She knew through snippets of conversation over the years that it had taken a long time for her grandparents to have her father, making them a lot older than most of their generation to bear children, and Gran had a number of miscarriages before finally being able to deliver a healthy baby. To Elle it seemed likely that the abortion in Gran’s younger years had caused lasting damage. She wondered if Gran had ever told Pa about it? She suspected she hadn’t, considering how hard it had been to get to the truth even now.

Elle was still angry at the woman sleeping so soundly across the room. Maybe it was because she was the only one of that generation left to take her anger out on, and maybe it wasn’t fair, but Elle couldn’t help how she felt. How could Moira and the rest of the family stand by and allow people to crucify a young girl—their own daughter and sister?

After lunch, Elle pled a headache, which wasn’t altogether a lie, and headed back to her hotel room. She thought she had been ready to uncover the truth behind whatever Gran had been keeping from her, but she hadn’t been expecting this.

‘Gran?’ she asked a little tentatively as she lay on her bed. She wasn’t sure what all the silence meant, but she knew it wasn’t good. There was a heaviness in her heart. ‘I’m so sorry you went through all that.’ Hot tears dribbled down her cheeks as the enormity of the whole thing came crashing down on her. ‘You must have been so frightened.’

It was all a long time ago. It’s forgotten now, a soft voice floated across to her.

‘How did you carry all that around alone for so long?’

We all live with our sins and secrets, darling.

‘But you were just a child.’