It’s cruel, in a way, that I know exactly what this is like now. Her scent in my nose; her weight balanced against my shoulder. Peeling clothes off Josie Martin after a long day, the fabric warmed by her body, unwrapping the most perfect gift with the constellations of her freckles all for me.

There’s a mole right above the left-side cup of her bra.

Well. That’s me ruined.

“I can get the rest,” Josie whispers as I drop her green top to the floor. I’m so disappointed, and so fucking relieved. When I stagger back, it’s like a spell has broken.

“Let me know if you need help moving your stuff to my barn tomorrow.” I can’t get out of there fast enough, my legs carrying me to the door in three strides. My hands were steady for that whole interaction, but they shake as I shove them in my pockets now. “I can pack your bags up and carry them over for you before Harry gets here. Just let me know.”

Because I don’t care how terrible an idea it is. Don’t care if we clearly can’t be trusted.

I’m not leaving them together with Josie needing help to get undressed at night.

No. No fucking way.

Seven

Josie

I’ve never had such mixed feelings to see my best friend before. Harry leans on his horn as he drives up the dirt track to the Barns, waving one arm out of his open truck window, and I force a smile and wave a bandaged hand back. He must have left before dawn to get here already, and I should be glad for the extra minutes with him, but a terrible part of me is bitter about losing that alone time with his uncle.

Some best friend I am.

I should be ashamed. I am so ashamed.

The hand-carved wooden bench I curled up on this morning creaks as I push to my feet. I set my borrowed paperback down, the pages fluttering in the breeze, and set off across the dried grass to meet Harry.

We haven’t seen each other for months, but we text or call every day. And I’ve been lying to him for a long time now, telling him that everything’s fine; that I’m living the life we always dreamed of for me, and proving everyone wrong like I planned.

Yup.

This is a humbling reunion, that’s for sure. I never should have lied at all, but I didn’t want Harry to worry.

And I was embarrassed. I can admit that. Because Harry was my biggest believer, my most consistent cheerleader all through my life, and I hate to let him down.

“Damn, Josie!” My best friend springs out of the truck cab, always so full of energy. He’s grinning wide, but his eyebrows pinch together when he sees my bandaged hands. “What happened there? Did Ev put you to work?”

I stiffen. Harry’s teasing, but I don’t want any blame for this laid at his uncle’s door.