Chapter 21

Three hours later, the awkwardness is long gone even after I moved on to soft drinks, citing my need for a clear head the next day to do my leadership programme pre-work.

Matt and I have vacated the bar and are wandering casually along the canal-side together, chatting animatedly and flirting shamelessly. It’s a still, clear night with a sky full of winking stars that add to the sense of romance. The temperature has also dropped several degrees. The closer we get to Brindley Place, where we’ll likely part ways, the slower and smaller our footsteps become (which is useful for me when it comes to climbing the steps from the canal-side). When we reach the top we come to a complete standstill, our bodies just inches apart, and gaze out across the stillness of the water.

‘So, I assume you’ll head in the direction of Broad Street for a taxi?’ I reluctantly ask, not yet ready for the night to end.

‘That would normally be my route, yes.’ He turns towards me, his breath billowing in clouds from the cold. ‘I wonder though if you’d let me walk you home. It’s only a small detour.’

‘That would be nice.’

His dark eyes crinkle as he smiles back at me, and I’m taken by surprise as he takes my hand and intertwines his fingers between mine.

‘All right?’

‘Yeah.’ I nod, biting my lip like a bashful schoolgirl.

We amble along the quiet residential streets until we reach my apartment block, where we come to a halt once more. I’m almost jangling with anticipation, while also wondering whether I should invite Matt in for a coffee – but obviously not in the clichéd sense. Is that what he’s expecting? Or will it send out the wrong signals? I look up at him, his face partially illuminated by the streetlight, creating shadowy contours on his face that make him look very sexy indeed. This makes me even more conflicted. A big part of me wants more than coffee: for him to wrap his strong arms round me and stay there all night. But I barely know him. We’ve done nothing more than hold hands and I’m keen not to accelerate this beyond what I’m ready for, given my circumstances.

As if reading my mind, Matt takes the lead on drawing our evening together to a close.

‘I’ve really enjoyed your company tonight, Alex. I hope we can do this again.’ He squeezes my hand affectionately.

‘I hope so too.’

We stand for a moment, paralysed by nerves. The chemistry between us is almost at overload. A kiss if it came now would be explosive. But we’ve faltered again. Feeling the moment passing from our inaction, Matt lets my hand go and takes a step back. I feel immediately disappointed and irritated at myself for not making the first move – nothing has ever stopped me in the past, so why now?

‘Do you have plans for Sunday?’ Matt asks.