“Yeah, I did. I liked the guys I served with, and when I found out that computers were my jam, and they put me through school for it, I was grateful again. I went from being in a shitty situation to having an opportunity to break that cycle. And I held on to it with both hands. Then chose a field that gives me a comfortable lifestyle. But it has its trade-offs.”

“You can’t talk about it,” I whisper.

“That’s the biggest one,” he admits. “It’s not that I’m a gossip, you know? I’ve never been one to offer up a bunch of information that isn’t somebody’s business. But it’s not easy to have this huge job that literally no one can know about. No matter how much I trust someone or love them, I can’t tell them what I have going on. I’ve signed agreements that state I can be incarcerated if I break that promise.”

“I’m sorry that I gave you so much crap for always being so secretive and for not being around,” I say, cupping his cheek in my palm. “I guess I’m selfish. I want to know because I care about you, and I want to know everything that you have going on. Not because I’m nosy.”

“I get that. It’s a simple, ‘Hey, honey, how was your day?’ But I can’t tell you about my day most of the time. And I hate that part of it. If I’d known, way back when, that this was how it would be, I’m not so sure I’d do it again.”

I frown and notice that the sky is starting to lighten with the early signs of dawn. “My da always says that if you change what happened before, the now would be different, too. And I wouldn’t change this moment with you, Cam. I wouldn’t wish this away.”

“Me, either.”

“I promise you I won’t get angry about your job. When you have to be vague, or if you can’t say anything at all, I won’t hold it against you.”

He kisses my forehead and takes a long, deep breath. “Thank you. I would never do anything to make you lose your trust in me. Just always remember that.”

“I know you wouldn’t. I do trust you. How could I not, after everything we’ve been through?”

We’re quiet again, listening to the waves and watching as the day awakens.