“I can’t sleep,” I say and look over at Cam, who’s watching me in the moonlight. “I should be so tired because we’ve done nothing but scramble for the last two days to get ready for this trip, but I’m all worked up and can’t just lie in this bed anymore.”

“Okay,” he says and sits up, rubbing his hands over his face. “What do you want to do?”

“Can we go to the beach?”

He’s quiet, and then he nods. “Sure. It’s dark, so we won’t be able to see much, but why not?”

We climb out of bed, quickly dress in layers because it’ll be chilly out by the water, and then we’re in my car, driving over to the beach’s public access. I cut the engine, and Cam and I walk hand in hand to the sand.

“We can see the whitecaps on the waves,” I point out. “They glow in the moonlight.”

“It’s pretty, even at three in the morning,” he agrees and leads me to a washed-up log, where we sit and listen to the music of the ocean.

“I used to come down here,” he says after a moment, “when I was a teenager, and my dad was passed-out drunk. I hated my home life, Mags. I hated that my mom left when I was young and didn’t tell me why. No one ever explained it to me. One day, she was just gone. And for a long time, I used to wonder what I did wrong to chase her away.”

I lay my cheek on his shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault. You know that, right?”

“Now I do, yeah. Some parents just shouldn’t be parents, and I get that it wasn’t anything I did that made her leave. But it messed me up a bit. And then I started hanging out with Kane more and more, spent time at your house, and I saw what a family was supposed to look like. At first, I resented it. I was totally jealous of what Kane had with all of you, but you know how your parents just swallow you up and include you in everything, whether you like it or not?”

I laugh, thinking of what I said to Heather. “Oh, yeah, I get it.”

“One day, I forgot to be jealous and just accepted that I was part of the family. I spent less time at home. And, frankly, I don’t think my dad even noticed much. It was probably a relief to him. And then, I went away to the Army because I needed the structure. I needed to feel as if I belonged somewhere, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to afford college on my own.”

“Did you like being in the Army?” I ask him.