“My dad is too nosy. Too pushy. But he’s also a really excellent judge of character. And if even half of what he’s told me about you is true, then you sound like a really amazing person. Really loyal. Plus you’re cute. I just . . . this is out of line, but I just made things work with my person and I’m all hopped up on pheromones and whatever and I know it’s not my business but I just wanted to say that I hope that if you’ve really decided not to meet this guy . . . I just hope you’re seeing yourself clearly, is all.”

“Oh. Thanks, Ronnie. I’ll keep that in mind.” I start to walk away and then stop and turn back to him one more time. I gesture at my motorcycle jacket and leather pants. “Cute?”

He shrugs. “Badass?”

“Much better.”

He smiles. I smile. I walk out of the gym feeling significantly better than I did when I woke up this morning.

And I know exactly the reason.

Because I got to do something for Eliot. Maybe it wasn’t a lot, talking to Raoul, making sure the gym was the right place for Eliot. But still. It was something. Someone I care about is hurting and I was able to do something that would hopefully help.

See, that’s the thing about this whole anonymous, ultimately doomed relationship. You’d think that the tough part would be never getting to go out on a date with Eliot. Or kiss him goodnight. Or wake up next to him. All the fun stuff. But the even worse part is that it robs me, him, us, of the hard stuff, too.

If I never tell him who I am, I’m never going to take care of him when he’s sick. I’m never going to drive across the city to pick him up if his car breaks down. I’m never going to console him if he loses a job. I’m never going to get up early to take his trash out because he forgot to do it the night before.

I park the bike outside of my building, but I don’t get off. For a long breath, I just sit there. My gut is filled with clown balloons. Because I’ve just realized how good it feels to do something for Eliot.

When Ronnie was describing me, he said “loyal,” and he wasn’t wrong. Because maybe, just maybe, in this particular situation, my brother isn’t the only one who deserves my loyalty.