Little does he know that for the past fifteen minutes I’ve been giggling like a maniac every time my cell phone buzzes. It would probably be cooler if I remained aloof. But like I said before, I’m nothing if not honest. So . . .

“I never cheat when I play games. So, in that case, I’m going to have to award some retroactive points and bring your total up to zero.”

“To what do I owe the honor of these unexpected points? Wait! That means I already made you laugh at some point. Right?”

“Maybe.”

“It was Clueless, right? Or no. Funsies. I definitely got you with funsies.”

“Minus two points for arrogance.”

“Crap! Good call. Good call. You’re tough but fair.”

“Gotta stay humble, Hoffman.”

I instantly regret last-naming him. Is there anything that says you have a crush on a guy more than spontaneously last-naming him? If we were in high school, I’d be drawing a picture on the ground with my toe and twisting my hair around one finger. I’d be asking to wear his letterman’s jacket. He’s going to realize that he’s accidentally texted his secret admirer and block my ass before his bunny gets boiled.

But he doesn’t block me. Instead, he texts me back.

“Good advice, JD.”

“JD? Is that someone you know? Is it an official guess?”

“No! You just used my last name so I wanted to use yours, but obviously I don’t know yours so I used the last two letters of the way you’re saved in my phone. Officially, your name according to me is Vplkjdjd. Or JD for short.”

This little development has me hopping down off the counter and pacing from one side of the kitchen to the other. I’ve gotta move. I step into the living room and immediately backtrack into the kitchen. The sight of my blankets folded up on the couch makes me grimace.

My phone buzzes again in my hand. He’s texted me again.

“Hey, I’m not keeping you up too late, am I? I don’t want to be a bother.”

“No. I’m a night owl. If I weren’t talking to you I’d probably be—”

Unfortunately my finger slips and I send the voice message before I finish it. And honestly, maybe it’s a good thing my finger slipped because I was about to get real chatty.

“You’d probably be what? You can’t just cut off mid-sentence!”

There’s no way I’m telling him.

“Take a guess, then. It’s an opportunity for points.”

“Ah. Okay, okay. I see where you’re going with this. Okay, let me think. If you weren’t talking to me you’d probably be . . . watching cringey dating shows on Netflix?”