“How do you know what pajamas I’m wearing? Let’s face it, JD—we know each other at this point.”

“Hold on. Hold the phone. Stop everything. Back up. I . . . was right? You’re actually wearing matching plaid pajamas with slippers and a cap?”

“No to the cap because I’m not living in a Charles Dickens novel. But I might be wearing plaid pajama pants that have a matching shirt somewhere in my closet, and I might have lined up some slippers beside the bed.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Who doesn’t have slippers?”

“I don’t wear slippers.”

“You just let your feet touch the cold floor in the morning like an animal?”

“I guess I’m not as civilized as you are, Hoffman.”

“Someday, when this anonymity thing is far behind us and we really know each other, I’m going to mail you that portrait and a pair of slippers. They’re gonna blow your mind. Once you go slippers, you never go back. You’ll never be the same. They’ll change you for life.”

“See, this is why the anonymity thing is important. A strange man just told me he’s going to mail me a pair of slippers and a picture of me that he drew. If that’s not the beginning to a movie about a serial killer I don’t know what is.”

“Crap! You’re right. Dang. Don’t you ever wish that you could just, like, unzip your head and show somebody everything that’s in there?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not dangerous. I’m nice. I’m like the least threatening guy on the planet. I wear matching pajamas, for Christ’s sake. I wish you could get an x-ray view of my thoughts and then you could see that you have absolutely nothing to fear from me.”

“You know I’m not scared of you, Eliot. We’ve been through this. I know you well enough to know that you’re not dangerous. And besides. I’ve seen you in person. I could definitely beat you in hand-to-hand combat.”

“Is that an insult to me or a compliment to yourself?”

“Compliment to myself.”

“Are you an athlete? A fighter or boxer or something?”

“I know my way around a gym.”

“See, I should be taking notes right now. Instead of just saying ‘yes,’ you say, ‘I know my way around a gym.’ It’s, like, so much cooler.”

“Well, I do know my way around a gym.”

“Do you lift or do classes or what?”

“I lift. Jump rope. Box a little. Sometimes I run.”

“That is so badass. I didn’t even know there were still gyms that offered that kind of stuff. I just got a fancy new gym membership and I’m thinking it was a total waste of money.”

“Why?”