“Oh, God. Maybe. I don’t know. The idea of doing that is nails on a chalkboard. But . . . it bugs me though. I don’t think she really gets how kickass she is. It’s like she’s always waiting for somebody to tell her why her idea is stupid and will never work. I just want her to see herself the way I see her.”

“. . .”

“JD? You still there?”

“Yeah. I know you guys have got your stuff, but you sound like a really good brother, Eliot.”

“You said you have a brother, right?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s your relationship like?”

“Well, a few days ago I literally peeled him off a floor and then had to enlist my ex-boyfriend’s help to drag him from the car into his house.”

“Ouch. Shit. That’s awful, JD. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“I wish I could say it was an anomaly.”

“Is he an alcoholic?”

“I mean, he’s never been diagnosed or anything like that, but he definitely doesn’t have a good relationship with drinking. He’s been to AA a few times, here and there. But it never stuck. The bingeing thing is mostly just on the weekends. He holds down his job well enough.”

“What’s his job?”

“He works for an electric company.”

“That’s good work.”

“Really good. Union job. And thank God for that. He needs job security.”

“Sounds like you take care of him in a lot of ways?”

“Oh. Yes and no. In case you can’t tell, I’m not exactly the most nurturing person on the planet.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. I think my personality is pretty clear.”

“Flaccid webcomic praise aside, I think you’re actually really nurturing! You make me feel better all the time! You might not be the most . . . cuddly person I’ve ever met, but this way, when you’re supportive, it actually means something. I know it’s because I deserve it. Not just because that’s who you are anyway. It’s nice.”

“Ironically, I’m probably one of the cuddliest people in real life you’ll ever meet. Maybe not with my words. But physically.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t look like I would be, but I am. I’m a blanket hog, too.”

“Interesting . . . So, you’re a physically intimidating person who knows of my sister but isn’t close friends with her. You’ve just helped me to cross about fifty prospective JDs off my list.”

“Oh.”

“Are you Rachel Ziegler?”

“Minus ten.”

“Maxi Winters?”

“Minus ten.”

“Sarah McCoy?”

“Minus ten.”

“Oy. That was a bloodbath. What’s my point count at now?”

“I don’t know. Approximately negative a million?”

“Brutal. Okay, I finished the drawing. Let me just snap a pic and . . .”

“Wow. That’s how you picture me, huh?”

“She-blob.”

“This is actually significantly more flattering than I thought it would be.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, there’re boobs.”