“Okay, well, now it’s my turn to pry.”

“You can try.”

“How come you don’t sleep, JD?”

“Hmmm. Habit mostly, I think. You know that phrase you have to wake up pretty early in the morning to whatever whatever?”

“Sure.”

“Well, that phrase applies to my dad in a literal way. If I ever wanted to help him out with anything, I had to wake up pretty early in the morning. Or else he’d just already have done everything himself. So, at some point, I started going to bed after him and waking up before him.”

“And your mom . . .?”

“Not in my life anymore.”

“Ah. Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay, I guess. She was never a super-healthy presence in my life. It didn’t take long after she left for me to realize that I just felt . . . kinda relieved? My dad has always made sure I felt loved.”

“He really sounds like a great guy.”

“He is. He’s the best. That’s why I . . . never mind.”

“Hey, JD?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m doing my absolute best to mind my own business. But look, if you ever wanted to finish that sentence—doesn’t have to be now—but I’ll be here to listen to it.”

“Thanks, Hoffman.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So . . . ready to watch that baking show and hate ourselves for not buying any baked goods today?”

“I have no idea how something can possibly be so soothing and so torturous at the same time.”

“Let’s make a mental note to buy cookies tomorrow so we can be prepared for the torture tomorrow night.”

“I cannot start eating cookies in bed every night, JD.”

“Right. Gotta keep it tight for your nude self-portraits.”

“You’re obsessed with this idea. Now I know what I’m going to get you for your birthday.”

“If you send me a nude self-portrait I will call the police.”

“If I paint you a nude self-portrait I’ll call the police on myself.”

“Ha. Good to know.”

“Hey, uh, I know we’re joking around here. But just for the record, I’m not a perv.”

“Um. Okay?”

“Like, I’m never going to do something like that.”

“Like what?”

“Ah, send you a naked picture of myself.”

“Oh.”

“I just . . . I know that you don’t know me very well, and I don’t know you, like, at all. But I just wanted to be clear, in case you were worried about that at all. In the back of your mind or whatever. But I like you. I’d like us to keep talking. And I definitely don’t want to traumatize you.”

“I’ve seen you in person, Eliot. A naked picture of you would definitely not traumatize me.”

“Hey—oh!”

“Wow, that really made your week, didn’t it?”

“I may not know much about you, but at least I know you don’t find me traumatizingly unattractive.”

“You’re incredibly easy to please.”