I’m the guy who’s still just shaking hands at the end of a third date.

I think motorcycles are kind of scary. I’ve tried on exactly one leather jacket in my life and it made me look like the Fonz’s little brother. I don’t enjoy loud, crowded rooms. I drink, like, an occasional beer. I really enjoy silent sustained reading time and a few years ago I got really good at crocheting.

Case in point? I’ve had three different friends try to set me up with their sisters.

If that doesn’t clue me in to the fact that I’m completely non-threatening slash un-thrilling, nothing will.

But Vera doesn’t know any of that, does she? Right now, I’m just a voice on the other end of the line for her. I’m the guy who might just save her website and save the day. I’m the guy who already made her laugh a few times. You know how rare it is for me to talk to a woman long enough to make her laugh? Vanishingly rare.

If she were another customer, I’d go back to professional silence while we wait for her computer to finish updating. But my palms are still sweating. So, I pull my bare feet off the coffee table and lean forward, planting my elbows on my knees. And I jump back in . . .

“Vera, can I ask you something while we’re just waiting here?”

“Shoot.”

“Why was the bagel bad?”

“What?”

“At the beginning of this phone call when you were describing all the things you did while you were waiting on hold you said you ordered a bad bagel and the wrong coffee.”

“Oh. That was because I was on hold with your company in the bagel line and when I got up to the register, I was flustered. So I somehow ended up with a pumpernickel bagel and black coffee.”

“Not your usual order?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, what’s your usual order, then?”

“Blueberry bagel, coffee with milk and honey.”

“Sweet tooth.”

“That’s what they call me.”

“Wait, really? People actually call you sweet tooth?”

“Well, not people, per se. But an ex-boyfriend.”

“Ah.”

“. . .”

“. . .”

“You still there, Cal?”

“Oh. Yes. Yup. Sorry. How’s the update coming along?”

“It’s actually going faster than it said it would. There’s only five minutes left.”

“So, I only got a glimpse of your site, but it looks pretty involved. You wanna tell me about it?”

“Yeah, it’s for my business. Date in a Box. And, yes, I’m very aware that it sounds a lot like that SNL skit, dick-in-a-box. But I don’t care. In fact, I think that only works in my favor. It’s free marketing. A jingle I didn’t have to pay for.”

“That’s genius.”

“You’re saying that like you mean it.”

“I do. So, what do you do at Date in a Box?”