I try to picture Cal.

He’s probably sitting in a call center somewhere, with no windows and stale coffee in a styrofoam cup. No, never mind, our Cal would never use styrofoam and risk ruining this earth we all call home. Cal is definitely sipping herbal tea that his wife packed for him in a thermos. He probably has a framed photo of her on his desk. He’s probably wearing immaculately pressed trousers that she ironed for him last night. I’m sure his bowtie is at perfect angles with his collar. His glasses would never have a smudge.

Thirty-four minutes left on the update.

This is torturous.

With every ticking second I can feel Friday morning approaching. Only four more days until I either make or break my business and all the while my website is a pile of letters and numbers on a celery-green screen. Why did I choose celery green again? It had seemed chic when Curio was helping me design my site. But now it just seems childish.

Somewhere out there in the World Wide Web my website is a completely useless pile of celery.

Twenty-eight minutes left . . .

“Cal? What song is that you’re singing?”

“Oh. Jeez. That’s embarrassing. I thought I’d put the phone on mute, too. See? Told you I was still learning the ropes of this whole customer service thing.”

“But what song was it?”

“It’s a pop song. A Finnish pop song. It was pretty popular over there a few years ago.”

“Oh. That’s cool. And . . . maybe a little random?”

“It’s not random for Finnish people.”

“Are you a Finnish person?”

“Yeah. Well, half Finnish.”

“Top half or bottom half? Yeesh, sorry, bad joke.”

“Ha, yeah. Probably my top half?”

“Does that mean your bottom half is American?”

“Finnish in the streets, American in the . . . Oh, gosh. I can’t believe I just said that. I’m so sorry. That was, jeez, awful. I’m—”

“Cal! Stop apologizing. Don’t you know me well enough by now to know that I’d laugh at that? MANAGER, IF YOU’RE LISTENING, I THINK CAL IS FUNNY. HE’S THE ONLY THING BETWEEN THIS COMPANY AND A ONE-STAR REVIEW.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Twenty-four minutes left on the update. Did you ever live in Finland?”

“Yeah. I spent half my time there when I was growing up. A year in New York with my mom, a year in Finland with my dad. Back and forth.”

“You don’t have an accent. Well, you kind of have an east coast accent, but you definitely don’t have a Finnish accent. Not that I specifically know what that sounds like.”

“I never got much of an accent either way.”

“Can you tell where I’m from based on my accent?”

“Ah, no.”

“Good. I’ve done everything I can to erase the dulcet tones of Jersey.”

“I like a Jersey accent.”

“No one likes a Jersey accent, Cal.”