‘When I say it to you, it sounds like all the worst sexist crap, but when he says it to me in my dreams it feels true. I feel like I take up too much space and I’ve let everyone down. The biggest favour I could do the world is to die. And I almost feel . . . like killing myself is inevitable. It’s just going to happen one day, and I won’t be able to stop it.’

I hold her hand. I say, ‘You are brilliant and talented and kind. Don’t listen to anything he says to you. I’m going to get him away from you.’

Even with my best ASMR tricks, it takes Mel a long time to fall asleep. While I wait for her to drop off, I start reading the links that O sent me.

BigSky Makes Sweet Dreams Bigger

A new expansion pack for Sweet Dreams has been announced. The Dark Side is expected to be available to a limited subscriber base as soon as the end of the year. BigSky spokesperson Emilie Vasquez commented, ‘The Dark Side will merge the best of our Sweet Dreams ASMR environments with The LateLateLateLateLater Show, which is specifically designed to be used during sleep. In response to an ever-growing demand from our client base, we offer an alternative to the hyperstimulation of daytime life with its multiple stressors. The new mod pack will offer faster fall-asleep times, deeper and more restful sleep, and the latest advances in power-dreaming.

Damn. Power-dreaming! Why didn’t I think of that? I can’t possibly compete with BigSky. You know, it would be just like them to develop the stuff they infected me with to work on this new platform. Maybe their next upgrade will be an ingestible piece of tech enabling people to cross into other people’s dreams. I can see it now: everybody else gets the good, clean version, but I get my life ruined. That would be about par for the course.

The thought is so stressful that I pass right out.

Secret Diary of a Prawn Star

Entry #51

Codename: Chaplin

Date: 20 September 2027

Client: Melodie Tan

Payment in advance: Yes

Session Goal: Second attempt to evict Creeper

Location: Hilton Excelsior Windsor Suite

Narcolepsy status: Fair

Nutrition/stimulants: Tea & biscuits

Start time: 8.31 p.m.

End time: 8.55 p.m.

I’m in Mel’s hotel room. There’s nothing to indicate it’s a dream except that the room has become really cold. I get up and go to the climate control, but it’s stuck. There’s a little handset and speaker next to the climate panel, and a sign that says, ‘Ring for assistance.’ So I do. I pick up the handset.

‘You don’t get it.’ That American voice again. ‘I control the parameters here. You don’t know what you’re doing. If you try to save her you’ll only make it worse.’