To start with, Donkamins were scantily clad. Their clothes consisted of lengths of gossamer fabric, strategically tied at some odd place they considered aesthetically pleasing. Then came the nipples. They were pink, incredibly human, and arranged in two rows that ran down the Donkamin chests all the way to where a human groin would be. They were not technically nipples, but they definitely looked the part.

The chests themselves appeared to be deformed, as if someone took a giant trilobite shell and stuffed it inside the Donkamin body so the ridges protruded under the skin. Then came the faces. They had large eyes that would’ve made any barn owl proud. Their nasal openings were shielded by a smaller version of that trilobite shell, and their mouths were very wide and lipless. The effect was at once revolting and horrifying, and it wasn’t even the worst part.

I took a step forward. “Greetings, Children of the Silver Star. Gertrude Hunt welcomes you.”

The leading Donkamin opened his mouth, a bright red, wet cavity studded with conical teeth. The ridges in his chest slid, elongating, and his neck stretched forward in an arc, covering the eight feet between us until we were eye to eye. His owl eyes stared at me unblinking.

Yep, that was the worst part.

“Greetings, innkeeper,” the Donkamin said. “We are pleased.”

I led them to their rooms. Technically, it was Sean’s turn, but he was still standing still, and I took one for the team.

The Kai were next. Short beings from a high-gravity world, they were covered in a natural armor of bony plates. They had six limbs and strange, snake-like faces with three protruding bottom fangs and pretty pink eyes. They were the first of the nonhumans to have brought a human-like candidate, a lean, beautiful male with silky blue hair, golden skin, and pink-colored irises. Clearly some genetic fiddling had taken place. The candidate’s name was Prysen Ol, and he spoke all three languages of the Dominion flawlessly.

Strictly speaking, a human-like candidate wasn’t required for spousal selection. Only the potential genetic compatibility mattered, and the economic and diplomatic benefits the union would bring. However, having a human-like spouse helped, something the oomboles and Donkamins had yet to figure out.

The Kai were a very formal species. They inquired about my health, Sean’s health, the health of our respective parents and siblings, and informed us about their health and their relatives’ medical issues. Sean barely had a chance to settle them into their quarters and get back in time.

The Dushegubs were next.

The portal swirled with light. A mass of dark tree roots slithered out of it.

I tapped my broom.