“I just have a feeling. Like I’m a mouse in a maze, with scientists constantly moving the walls to study how I’ll react. Constantly detailing me or moving me to dead ends, wasting my time. Someone has moved at every turn to slow this investigation down. Taking out leaders only set the stage for war.”

“Who benefits from Muungano girding up for war?” you ask.

“I don’t know. But that’s the question, isn’t it?”

“I can stay and back you up.” You rest a hand on his shoulder. He tenses at the contact, but doesn’t retreat.

“No, it’s okay. I got this. Here.” Ishant slips a glyph into your palm. “I’ll do a site-to-site with you when I learn something.”

Space is a vast graveyard of all the ships wrecked and stripped along the way to building the outposts. Testament to the desire to dream and build. The opportunity to carve a new path for ourselves. The cost of freedom. The solar sails of your Saqqara glide your ship through space, skimming the void, riding the waves of starlight at speeds approaching sublight. Leaving you at peace to acknowledge the throbbing in your temples you call your racing thoughts. You marvel at the vastness of space, yet are able to traverse from the outer rim of the Oyigiyigi to the lunar settlement of the Dreaming City in days. You dutifully close your eyes to ignore the displays and translucent screens of information. You snuggle into your seat to allow your thoughts to drift.

You can’t help but replay your conversation with Maulana, noting his tone and the way his eyes kept washing over you as if unconsciously assessing your faults and weaknesses. And the Nguni. As you parse the implications of Geoboe’s proposal and innuendo. You come up with all manner of witty comebacks or things you wished you’d said rather than be so caught off guard in the moment and falling silent.

Too much time on your hands gives your mind too many opportunities to reminisce. To wonder what could have been or have the conversations you always wished you could have. Your path veered away from the Orun Gate and, more important, Titan. To resist the temptation to detour from her mission and connect with Stacia. To discuss the unsaids and unspokens between you. To find a place of closure that will allow you to move on.