“Might be? Or will be?”

The smile is wiped with shame. “Will be,” she whispers. And here I almost fucked it up.

I push the hair away from her face and lean down to kiss her. “It’s sweet that you held on to your virginity.”

“I don’t want to be sweet anymore, Harbor. I want to feel sexy and in control for once in my life. I’m tired of making it a bigger deal than it is and worrying about who’s going to be bothered by it.”

“That’s a lot to process.”

“Tell me about it.” She sighs. Her gaze reaches the window and beyond, but I don’t want to lose her or have her perceive this as a rejection. It’s not. Before I say anything, she adds, “But I don’t want us processing it. I just want to do it and get it over with.”

“Lark?” When she looks back, I say, “You’re my girlfriend, and I hope you believe me when I tell you that I care about you. More than I expected so soon, to be honest. I don’t want to fuck this relationship up before it really begins. Getting it over with when it comes to you is the last thing I want to do.” Cupping her face, I kiss her cheek and then lie back down. “Don’t ask me to take something you’re not ready to give.”

She huffs, flopping flat on the bed beside me and tossing her arm across her forehead. “I can’t even give it away these days.” Facing me, she adds, “And for the record, I don’t think you’re taking advantage of me or my situation. I choose you, babe. I just want you to choose me as well.”

I can hear the plea in her tone as if having sex will fix everything that’s wrong in her life. I know firsthand that sex doesn’t have that power. “Believe me when I say this, baby, I am choosing you but please let me make this special for you?”

“Do I have a choice?” Her eyebrow quirks higher.

“Sure, you have two options. I can fuck you right now, or I can make it worth the wait. What do you choose?” Please choose two. She’s already gotten under my skin, so fucking her like she’s any other girl isn’t going to be something I’m capable of.

I can see the debate in her eyes. I don’t know whether to laugh or take the compliment. I take her hand instead, and say, “Your first time should be special.”

“It would have been,” she fake grumbles, but then laughter bounces through her. “Geez, what happened to being spontaneous?”

“That was before I had all the facts.”

She rolls over, the cups of her bra hiding her breasts. Disappointment runs through a vein of my greedy side. Not only have I lost visual access to those perfect tits, but I can’t seem to find the silver lining to the reality that I’m not getting laid tonight. Fuck.