‘We appreciated the call. We’ve both been thinking about Matt all night.’ She was wearing jeans and her hair blew in the wind. She looked like a girl, not a mother. ‘Lexi has gone for a walk and I wanted to talk to you.’

He wanted to stop her, as if not giving her the chance to say the words might change things. But what was the point of that? Where had denial ever got him? ‘Are you all right after yesterday? No ill effects?’

‘No. We were just cold. Nothing that a hot bath didn’t cure. Ryan—’

‘I know what you’re going to say, Jenna.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course. You want to end it.’

She took so long to answer that he wondered if he’d got it wrong, and then she made a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a sob. ‘I have to. This just isn’t a good time for me to have a new relationship. I have to think of Lexi. She’s found out just how selfish her dad has been—she feels rejected and unimportant—if I put my happiness before hers, I’ll be making her feel as though she matters to no one. I can’t do that. She says she likes the fact that it’s just the two of us. Our relationship is her anchor. It’s the one thing that hasn’t changed. I don’t want to threaten that.’

‘Of course you don’t.’ Ryan felt numb and strangely detached. ‘I love you—you know that, don’t you?’

‘Yes.’ Her feet made no sound in the soft grass as she walked towards him. ‘And I love you. And that’s the other reason I can’t do this. You want children. You deserve children, Ryan. I’m thirty-three. I have no idea whether I can even have another child. And even if I could—and even if Lexi accepted our relationship in time—I couldn’t do that to her. She’d feel really pushed out.’ The hand she placed on his arm shook. ‘What am I saying? I’m talking about children and a future and you haven’t even said what you want—’

‘I want you.’ It was the one question he had no problem answering. In a mind clouded with thoughts and memories, it was the one thing that was shiny and clear. ‘Have you talked to Lexi about it at all?’

‘No. No, I haven’t.’

‘Maybe you should.’ Refusing to give up without a fight, he slid his hands into her hair and brought his mouth down on hers. The kiss was hungry and desperate, and he wondered if by kissing her he was simply making it worse for them both. He tasted her tears and lifted her head. ‘Sorry. That wasn’t fair of me.’