She gave a shaky smile. ‘Are you suggesting my final act of rebellion should be to have a baby? I think that might be taking it a bit far. And anyway, I couldn’t do that now.’

‘Why not?’

‘Well, for a start, I’m too old.’

‘You’re thirty-three. Plenty of women don’t have their first child until that age.’

She looked at him, and he knew she was wondering why he was dwelling on the subject. ‘And then there’s Lexi. If I had a baby now, it would be difficult for her.’

‘Why?’

‘Because there have been enough changes in her life. I suspect that at some point, probably soon, her father is going to have another child. I don’t want to add to the confusion. I want her relationship with me to be as stable as possible. Why are you asking?’

Why was he asking? Unsettled by his own thoughts, Ryan turned his attention back to his breakfast. ‘I’m just saying you’re not too old to have a child.’ He kept his voice even. ‘Put your sunglasses on. You’re right about it being sunny outside.’

CHAPTER EIGHT

IT WAS an affair full of snatched moments and secret assignations, all tinged with the bittersweet knowledge that it couldn’t possibly last.

At times Jenna felt guilty that she was keeping her relationship with Ryan from Lexi, but her daughter was finally settled and happy and she was afraid to do or say anything that might change that.

She just couldn’t give Ryan up.

They’d meet at the lighthouse at lunchtime, make love until they were both exhausted, and then part company and arrive back at the surgery at different times.

And, despite the subterfuge, she’d never been happier in her life.

‘I actually feel grateful to Clive,’ she murmured one afternoon as they lay on his cliffs, staring at the sea. Her hand was wrapped in his and she felt his warm fingers tighten. ‘If he hadn’t done what he did, I wouldn’t be here now. I wouldn’t have known it was possible to feel like this. It’s scary, isn’t it? You’re in a relationship, and you have nothing to compare it to, so you say to yourself this is it. This is how it’s supposed to feel. But you always have a sense that something is missing.’

‘Did you?’

‘Yes, but I assumed it was something in me that was lacking, not in my relationship.’

‘Life has a funny way of working itself out.’ He turned his head to look at her. ‘Have you told Lexi about us yet?’

A grey cloud rolled over her happiness. ‘No,’ she said. ‘Not yet.’

‘Are you going to tell her?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘You’re afraid of her reaction?’